Moshe was on holiday in Bournemouth to celebrate his 70th birthday. It was a nice day so he decided to go for a swim. But he had only been out for 5 minutes when a huge wave came from nowhere and swept him out to sea.
"Oy Vay," cried Moshe, "Help! Help me someone, please. I’m drowning."
Fortunately, a lifeguard heard his cries and swam out to him. He gripped Moshe tightly and swam back to the shore with him. As soon as he got Moshe onto dry land, the lifeguard gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 5 minutes later, Moshe sat up – he was saved.
The lifeguard helped Moshe to his feet and said, "If I were you, sir, I’d take it easy for the rest of the day. Why don’t you go back to your hotel and put your feet up?"
As the lifeguard turned to walk away, Moshe whispered to a lady next to him, "Excuse me, but could you help me please. How much does one tip for a body that kisses like that?"