An apology to the people of Sheffield........

[jackthehat]

I've just been watching the Bishop of Carlisle on TV. And it appears that the fact that I am gay has been the primary cause of your houses being flooded.............

............so I'd just like to say 'sorry about that'.

[jake-the-peg]

Well you know Jack, it strike me that if the almighty is peeved with gay people how much more irked he must be with gay priests!

As I believe the Church of England is OK with gay priests - (Isn't there even a gay Anglican bishop in America?) then following the Bish's logic it sounds as if the Sheffield floods must be the fault of the Church of England!

Therefore liability must lay with them and I'm expecting a class action suit on behalf of insurance underwriters to recover their losses!

[jackthehat]

I have been berating myself for not having the foresight to take out public liability insurance, just in case there are a further 6 plagues/punishments that are going to be laid at my door.............

[naomi24]

As much as I feel very sorry for the people who have been affected by the floods, I have to say what absolute rubbish! Surely no one can honestly believe that? How pathetic.

Oh well, nothing else for it. May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, so come on guys - all into the Ark. It's party time!!

[jackthehat]

Oops............is it a further 6 or is it 9 ?

And the 'watery one' was that apparently the rivers turned to blood.........

Are we going to have a passenger list, noami24 ? Who shall we let on..............?

[jno]

I'm afraid you are going to go straight to Hull

[jackthehat]

Excellent reply; please have 3 stars on me...

You will definitely be top of the guest list.........

[naomi24]

Well, Jack, it's your party, so who would you like to invite? I'll ask Luna to muster up the Looney Band and sort out the music, and I'm sure there must be someone around here qualified to blow the balloons up. I would offer to cook the sausage rolls, but with my culinary skills, perhaps not! Maybe I could take charge of the bar?

jno - very good.

[jackthehat]

We'd need someone full of hot air to blow up the balloons.........I'll mention no names, but follow my eyes.....

Luna and his bandsters will be invited to set up on-stage so that there will be a pleasant atmosphere as our guests arrive...
I think Wizard could be the doorman; firm but fair..........
You, naomi24, can certainly be in charge of the sausage rolls, but perhaps we can consider ready cooked ones...............? I think that someone else ought to be in charge of the biscuits, however, bearing in mind the incident with the biscuit tin for the Cabal meetings.
We'll need someone with a firm hand on the tiller to steer us through these troubled waters.........hmmmm.........suggestions ?
jno can be our compere............to fill in the silences with wit and whimsy whilst the band wet their whistles.........
Theland will be welcome aboard and will be in charge of interceding with his God { just in case ;o) }
There will be a waiting room playing The Life of Brian, on a loop.............anyone who gets offended by it or fails to laugh themselves silly will be removed from the guest list...
Waldo and his many reference books come aboard with pleasure;
Octavious can come too, providing he promises not to be grumpy on the voyage.

I'm sure there must be more.......

Would anyone else care to put their case for inclusion ?

[WaldoMcFroog]

Do you know what's doubly unfair, Jack? Not only has your girl-on-girl action so offended God that he needed to flood Sheffield, but he also flooded the houses of people who have never given homosexuality a second thought. It would make more sense if - given that it's apparently okay to punish people other than the one's responsible for such aberant behaviour* - he flooded only the Christian's houses, since presumably they might be reasonably expected to know how bad homosexuality is.

Mmmm - great ethics there, God...

[jackthehat]

So, do you want to join our happy band of sailors, Waldo ?

[wizard69]

Hey jack...if I'm to be the doorman, can I bring my hammer and 6 cans of special brew? I can guarantee that with that combo, no one would dare to start....

Seriously though, how fcuking ridiculous can you get?
Its like the wesboro church in America that blames homosexuals for everything from the twin towers to iraq.
Religious retards, the lot of them...

[jackthehat]

Permission granted, to come on-board, Wiz.............we may be in it for the long haul, so I'd suggest bringing more than 6 cans along...........

[wizard69]

Bottle of meths then? chilled of course...

[jackthehat]

..............any particular vintage ?

[wizard69]

1968...a naughty little number with a slightly fruity aroma.

[jackthehat]

Perfick ! Put it away for best, and we'll use it to toast our safe arrival....................

[luna-tic]

'It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to get things started
On the Abers Show tonight........' :0)

[naomi24]

You got my drift precisely Jack,, with the balloon blower uppers ....... and Daobi's best friend Luna has arrived ...... and Theland is big on the chilled meths Wiz, but do you think you could possibly sling in the odd bottle of Merlot too? Medicinal purposes only you understand - honestly. Love the suggestion of playing The Life of Brian, Jack. Good idea. I reckon Coco should be in charge of the biscuit tin, since she's our favourtie fly and was unceremoniously gobbled up at the tin's last outing. Wow!! What a bash this is going to be!!

PS............... Let's not invite the Bishop of Carlisle, eh? What a Party Pooper!!