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wizard69

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wizard69
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a relative's grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking...
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wizard69
Stevie Wonder is being interviewed. The interviewer asks "So, Stevie, how do you cope with being blind?" Stevie replies, "It's OK. At least I'm not black."
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wizard69
Two old women sitting in a cafe. Margaret says to Ethel, "Did you come on the bus?" Ethel replies, "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack".
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wizard69
Why does Noddy have bells on his hat? Because he's a c*nt.
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wizard69
What do you do after raping a blind, deaf and dumb girl? Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
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wizard69
What runs along walls and kills Jews? Gas Pipes.
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wizard69
Little Jonny goes into school after being absent the previous day. His teacher demands, "Where were you yesterday?" "I'm sorry Miss, my dad got burnt" replies Jonny. "Oh,I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't...
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wizard69
I stopped a woman from being raped last night. I stayed in.
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wizard69
Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays? He puts his fags out in the pool.
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wizard69
How do you make your girlfriend scream at the end of sex? Wipe your d!ck on the curtains!!
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wizard69
What's the difference between PMT and BSE? One attacks the cow's brain and sends it f*cking mental, and the other is some kind of agricultural problem
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wizard69
I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane.
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wizard69
What's the fastest thing on land? Stevie Wonder's speedboat!
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wizard69
200 muslims have been killed on their way to mecca. I f*cking love bingo!
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wizard69
What has eight legs and makes women scream? Gang rape!
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wizard69
I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today , but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' "
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wizard69
whats the difference between smarties and muslims? Smarties dont blow up in the tube.
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wizard69
Heres a chat up line that will ensure success with the ladies: 'Don't let this rape turn into a murder'
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wizard69
A man walks into a bar and says to the barman "Line me up ten whiskies" So the barman lines them up and the man gulps them down one after another. "Jeez" says the barman "What are you celebrating...
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wizard69
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says,'How dare you call me a slapper! Get out of my bed right now, and you can take all your ******* mates with you too!

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