homosexuality.

[wildwood]

I want to become more tolerant to gay's private lives. Can you help?

We have over the years become fairly friendly with a gay male couple who used to live next door, they make us laugh and are such a caring pair. We also have a gay niece so we are no strangers to it.

I am well aware that homosexuality is first and foremost an attraction to the same sex for companionship and comfort. Eventually though, it comes to sexual activity which is where my understanding falls down.

Although I don't make a song'n'dance about it, I honestly can't accept what a male couple get up to in the bedroom is normal. With females it seems to me to be different because of a lack of certain body parts!

I have heard all the 'live and let live' and 'none of your business' stuff but my discomfort with my feeling over this worry me somewhat.

Could we please not have any name calling or nasty remarks as this is how I feel and am baring my soul, hoping I can learn to understand better.

[Kromovaracun]

wildwood,

You probably don't know *exactly* what a given gay couple do in the bedroom. Not all gay men have anal sex - trust me.

Regardless, if it's anal sex specifically that bothers you, then just remind yourself that heterosexual couples do it too - other couples that you know have very likely engaged in it.

If you're still bothered by it, then I'd invite you to ask yourself why people even ought to be 'normal' in the bedroom. Why is 'normal' sexual activity better than 'abnormal' sexual activity? (Providing it's all consensual, of course). There's not really any way you can prove that doing what's 'normal' is better. Sex should be fun - and if people don't enjoy 'normal' sex, it doesn't make sense for them to indulge in it.

[shoota]

Who defined 'normal'?
When was it defined?
Has 'normality' changed over the centuries?
Should it change further?

[Kromovaracun]

^ Good questions. And I would argue yes, the definition of 'normality' has changed, should probably change again and will probably do so in the near future. I was just trying to use the word in the way I think the OP was using it.

[Sir Alec]

Whatever you call 'normal' may differ from other peoples' normal. Since they are one in ten of the population, surely 'homosexuality' is pretty normal. It's very normal to them!

[shoota]

I wasn't aiming at you Kromo, just throwing the question up into the wind in an effort to help Wildwood.

[mikey4444]

What possible concern is it of yours what people do with thier willys !

No many how many gay people you might know, the number pales into insignificance when compared with all the straight people that you come across.

Even Elton John must know more straights than he does gays, although Princess Ann is reported as telling him that he probably knew more queens than her mother !

Do you ask your straight friends what they did in bed last night ?

I suspect not, so why are you so obsessed with your gay friends ?

I am reminded of the story about the old lady that dials 999 and tells the Police that there is someone exposing himself in the window of the flats on the other side of the road.

The Police rush over, sirens going full pelt and find the old lady sitting on a chair by the window, trembling.

The Police look very carefully out the window and then say to the old lady that they can't see anything at all.

"Oh but you've got to stand on the chair" she replied.

Mind our own business and enjoy people for what they are.

[Maydup]

I don't know how to help you as I don't know what you think a male couple "get up to in the bedroom" any more than i don't know what my straight neighbours get up to in the bedroom. Until now, I've never given it a thought, why would we? But I bet its very similar.

[ludwig]

It's really quite simple wildwood. What consenting adults get up to in the privacy of their own homes with their own bodies is no businesss of yours whatsoever.

If you can grasp that principle, then you're as tolerant as you need to be.

[naomi24]

I don't understand what you feel you have to 'tolerate'. What they do is between them and unless it interferes with your life it's none of your business.

[Booldawg]

why does it alway focus on sex when discussing gay couples? its probably just as important/unimportant as it is to heterosexual couples.

[Mick-Talbot]

I couldn't help but notice mrs Braithwaite had a slight limp this morning.

[ummmm]

Lol Mick...

Boold, I too wonder that. People are strange.

[ludwig]

^ that's an interesting name for it Mick.

[RATTER15]

I have a gay friend who openly discussed what he got up to in the bedroom, the more he discussed it the less I wanted to know.

Some things are best left to the confines of the bedroom. gay or otherwise!!

[snags]

As long as they're not allowed entry in to the same Christian B&B I'm staying in I don't care what they get up to...

[hc4361]

I think it's possible wildwood feels this way because of the horrid slang expressions that have been in common use for many years to refer to homosexuals and homosexual activity.

They are not nice, and very descriptive.

[Baldric]

I just wonder why, near the start of the OP, the word IT required italics and if "We are no strangers to it" why ask the question anyway?

[wildwood]

Thank you all for your opinions. Sadly many have missed the point but never mind.

[sherrardk]

Wildwood, I have re-read your original post and I cannot fathom exactly what you want to know (not guy myself so couldn't give you the answer anyway).