Inappropriate Colleagues

[Smowball]

A work colleague, higher up than me, has been messaging me for several evenings. It started when his MIL died suddenly 10 days ago and he was in shock. He messaged me because he said he knew how I felt as my mum was only 59 When she died. Anyway, it’s pretty clear to me that he is only txting me at night when he is drinking as the messages are getting a bit inappropriate. His sex life etc..... how is mine,,,,,,
He’s a big name in my company and just don’t know what to do,I’ve just told him to go to bed ....

[Baldric]

You seem to understand why he is doing it Smow, which is good, try and humour him but if it gets too heavy take it higher, don't be wound up by him.

[albaqwerty]

Tell him the evenings are yours and for your family. Whilst you sympathise etc etc, you'd really appreciate it if he didn't message you at night.

[anneasquith]

Don’t reply to any txt. If he asks why, tell him you and hubby often switch off your mobiles when together .

[TonyV]

Difficult for you Smow, but could you have quiet word with him at work, firmly, politely and concisely explaining how inappropriate his behaviour is and that you dont want to to take the matter to your personnel department, but if it continues you will have no other option, and it may jeopardise his job / career i.e. call his bluff. Others may have an opinion on this route of addressing the issue.

[JimF]

Can't you just block his mobile number?

[douglas9401]

Easy come, easy go, little high , little low.

[Smowball]

Sorry lost internet. Just got back. Yes I get why he is doing it , I assume. Just v awkward, especially when he asks for photos!

[TonyV]

you need to have a word with him IMO.

[Smowball]

It’s really daft as I’m so outgoing, chatty, lively etc yet with this I feel so so awkward.

[1ozzy]

I'm confused.

// Most of you know I’m self employed. Spend my week delivering and collecting orders..//


So where does the higher up colleague come into the picture?

[david small]

Maybe not wise to escalate the situation. A gentle rebuff, saying you turn your phone off at night as it disturbs your sleep pattern. Then just do not respond to texts for a while.

[Smowball]

Iozzy I’m a member of his team.....

[waterboatman]

Smow, tell him by text or face to face that you are happily married and his advances are inappropriate and you find them disturbing. If he doesn't stop now you will take it further. If he doesn't stop then you must take it to either his boss or the police.

[Smowball]

I’ve never met this man, I only know what he looks like by his FB profile.,

[waterboatman]

That is disturbing smow.
Post it on his Facebook page. A lot of people will see it.

[Smowball]

I’m just hoping it’s a grief thing.

[waterboatman]

Could be smow, but it's not right.

[Smowball]

I know......

[waterboatman]

Want to chat later?

[TonyV]

smow the grief and maybe any support you may have been willing to give is one thing, the sexual innuendos are something totally different and out of order.