What to Do?

[spotit3]

Does anyone else ever think they are wasting the precious life they have been given? I often do. Since I retired I feel I have no real focus in my life.
Some mornings I lie and think what is the point of getting up and then I hear the dog and realise she wants her walk so that makes me get up. When my husband was alive it was fine but now every day seems the same.

[Prudie]

That's sad spotit I feel for you and think I would also feel the same if I didn't have a partner or work. There are lots of other men and women in your position, have you got lots of friends or do you socialise at all?

[stokemaveric]

seems like you are in a bit of a rut spotit3...have you any interests,hobbies etc etc??...or maybe you could join a club or something...the main thing is not to get bored with life...chin up eh..x

[pastafreak]

yes-sometimes. When I was young I always told myself that when I reached 'older' age,I did not want to look back and have regrets about not doing things. But I do,and I sometimes feel a kind of panic that all those things will never get done...because of the lack of money,and being on my own.
I'm also glad I have a dog-she gets me up and out...that and part time work helps.

[spotit3]

I do voluntary work with a charity, stovemanerick. I am actually trying to organise a break for them at the moment as we were able to get a lottery grant. I have friends but they are all married and they are good to me but I often fell I am the odd 'third' person. Not theur fault, I hasten to add. At the moent AB is my lifeline.

[stokemaveric]

we all go through low points dont we??...my mum is at the moment.. we lost my dear dad 4 years ago and i know she is so lonely...we try to involve her within our family time but she does feel as you say ''like a 3rd party''...although we make her welcome and everything..its hard as myself and my wife work away a lot...life is a bitch sometimes isnt it???

[boxtops]

I just am thankful that I am here and able to enjoy the sunshine and the good things... perhaps you could take up a new interest, is there something you always wanted to study, or a skill you always wanted to develop?

[spotit3]

It was four years ago when my husband died. My family are like you and do their best. I would never tell them how I feel as I wouldn't want them to feel guilty in any way. They have their own life to lead and it wouldn't be fair to land them with my woes. Maybe I am just having a bad day, Sundays always do seem long.

[vulcan]

What about the University of the third age?
This is from their website.

The Third Age Trust is the national representative body for the Universities of Third Age (U3As) in the UK. U3As are self-help, self-managed lifelong learning co-operatives for older people no longer in full time work, providing opportunities for their members to share learning experiences in a wide range of interest groups and to pursue learning not for qualifications, but for fun.

[spotit3]

Hi Boxtops, I don't have a lot of skills! Thanks to my sonI am reasonably proficient at IT. I did teach it voluntarily to older folk for a few years but unfortunately we lost the premises and could never find anywhere else which had internet available. I do miss the interaction with them as they were always so keen.

[wolf63]

I know how you feel. I had to give up work at 40 due to deteriorating mental health problems. I thought that it would give me an opportunity to do something with my life as I now had plenty of free time and was financially stable.

I am 49 in a month of so and I have still done zilch.

[stokemaveric]

maybe you should tell them how you feel spotit3...id hate to think that my mum was ''suffering in silence''...its hard i know...

[spotit3]

Thanks Vulcan42, I will certainly look into that.

[spotit3]

Hope you are feeling a bit better now, Wolf63.

[spotit3]

Agree with you about the dog Pastafreak. She certainly helps to keep me going.

[owdhamer]

Snap out of it spot or you can have one of my typical days.

[stokemaveric]

hey owdhamer hows things with you my friend???

[Duncer]

spotit3, if you ever want to unload I would be happy to help in any way that I can. I used to get bored quite easily but I no long allow myself to do so as there are so many books, so much music and so many places that I have yet to discover. I know finances can dictate some of this, but there are so many options.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[parkie]

My wife and I belong to U3A spotit and it's really great. We have any number of groups, all organised by members. Reader groups, gardening, genealogy, walking, bridge, chess. You name it.
If anyone wants to start a group up they can do that as well. Membership, (in our group anyway), is only £8 a year and when we meet in other people's houses we give a small donation to pay for tea, coffee, biscuits etc.
You belong to as many or as few groups as you like.
So it's well worth looking into.
Good luck to you.

[owdhamer]

Not to bad Stokie,had ad scan last Fri chemo this Wed.Incitement broke a shoulder at Catterick and was put down,Rory Boy pratted about at cartmel and was left,the money was down,but thats racing,had a word with mrs stokie she sounds like a proper lass,good punting,

[DaisyNonna]

Yes.