Should you be put off...?

[jd_1984]

If a girl wants to have sex on a first date?
I am not trolling or looking for smutty answers by the way!
For a single guy it could be a blessing, but dont think it forms the best basis if you are looking for a relationship.
What do you think?

[andy-hughes]

I think it depends entirely on the individuals concerned.

If you get the impression that a lady enjoys sex on a first date in the same way she enjoys a first drink, then maybe that is something for you to consider if you are looking for a long-term future.

If however, you feel that the vibes are right, and everyone is comfortable, then it shouldn;t be a problem.

It does very much depends on the individuals, and their personal attitudes towards sex in a relationship at any time, as well as the firfst date.

[Dris]

Well 13yrs down the line we're still together at it like rabbits;)
Have to say it was mutual (the wanting- that is)

[ummmm]

Depends on the bloke. If they don't want a girl to give out on a first date then they shouldn't try on with her.

If she tries it on then the bloke can decide on how it makes him feel.

My OH wouldn't even sleep with someone on the first date if they made it clear they were up for it.

[andy-hughes]

From my distant memories, the issue never arose (sob!) but I would never be able to be intimate with someone I didn;t care about - and i wouoldn;t know anyone well enough to care about them after one date, so it would have been a 'no' for me - but that's just me - everyone is different.

[Dris]

Can I just say so I dont look too tarty -I did know him very well and we had known each other for ages from schooldays with brief interludes (Hi in the street type things) in the following years...horses for courses though and I appreciate that and I was 38 at the time and we did marry 8mths later................spade anyone :)
Didnt notice it was a bloke question either -should have gone to Specsavers...

[pa___ul3]

It would put me off to be honest, you can't help thinking how often does she do that and, however right or wrong, I'd not like to think of a potential long term girlfriend as being 'well known to a lot of chaps' to put it politely!
It reminds me of a date with a gorgeous girl a few years back, after a few drinks she was all over me, like straddling me and everything, I was relatively sober and a bit embarrassed because everyone in the bar was looking. All I thought after that was that she'd be a good 'option' but i didn't even bother with that.
Thrill of the chase perhaps!?

[Sqad]

<<<If a girl wants to have sex on a first date? <<

and you do too.....what is the problem?
if you don.t........just pass her over here.

andy´s answer again is top class.

[jd_1984]

Question was based on a first date scenario with somebody who you didnt know previously as a friend, near enough a stranger. I agree that if you have known them previously, say as a friend, and then decide to date you kind of know who that person is. But I personally would have trust issues with somebody who is willing to jump in to bed after 1 meal or 1 film at the cinema. If sex is no big deal (which for some it isnt) and they can seperate love from sex fairly easily, if you then get into a relationship, one might feel uneasy when they went out in town with friends - just the way my mind works!! Now if you embark on what is clearly a one night stand, then great stuff, you find somebody who just wants a one night thing and you move on.

[andy-hughes]

Thanks sqad - much appreciated!

[Old_Geezer]

Relationships build, they aren't there immediately. I'd say thank your lucky stars, wear a condom for that night, and see if your relationship builds or never really gets going afterwards.

[Sqad]

<<<<but dont think it forms the best basis if you are looking for a relationship. <<<

Looking for a relationship on your first date? That is not the way to look for a relationship.

[jd_1984]

Sorry Sqad, the way I phrased it is mis-leading - I mean if one was looking in hindsight, say you have been together 6 months and you slept together after first date. Would you feel secure in the relationship down the line. Obviously it takes time to realise what you want with the person and even longer to figure what kind of person they are!!

[naomi24]

Well, you'd have slept with her on the first date too, so should she feel secure with you?

[LoftyLottie]

It can happen and I wouldn't judge anybody it happened to. And it doesn't necessarily rule out a good relationship. Relationships are about more than sex.

[McMouse]

Do people really go on first dates looking for a long term relationship? I thought first dates were more about meeting someone new and seeing if there was any chemistry. If it leads to sex and you are both consenting then so what.

[jd_1984]

Naomi - very good point. I am going from personal experience, and got hurt. You only question these things when it happens. But equally, why should dhe have trusted me I didnt exactly fight her off!

[jd_1984]

McMouse - like I said in response to Sqad, I should have phrased it better i.e looking at a relationship in hindsight. I wouldnt draw any conclusions re a relationship from the very first date.

[ummmm]

I suppose it appears worse for girls because she had two dates in one month and got pregnant....it would be who's the Daddy...

[LoftyLottie]

Totally agree McMouse. Why do people look for relationships at all. Relationships just happen when you least expect them. Dates are about going out and enjoying yourself. Some people go from one 'relationship' to another. Why not just go out on lots of dates, have a good time and forget about getting tied down. Why must people be in a 'relationship'. Totally daft!!

[jd_1984]

I am a "go with the flow" kind of guy. I dont plan to be in a relationship, you have gone off subject a bit. I am just wondering whether ONCE IN a relationship is it a solid foundation that you had sex on the first date? I had my fingers burnt when I did