toilet problems

[mccfluff]

ok peeps challenge for the afternoon. we have a someone using the gents but missing the urinal. App this happens on a regulars basis and its not a case of a sprinkle but more of a yellow lake. my boss is a tad unhappy and wants me to put up a sign in the gents requesting that the culprit desist peeing on the floor.

Any suggestions as comical as poss please.

my suggest of

'Stop p**&ing on the floor you dirty barsteward' is too aggressive apparently.

[Sgt.Rock]

When the pee comes up to your ankles, please use the urinal.

[redcrx]

the old
"if you sprinkle when you tinkle,
please be sweet and wipe the seat"

may be good with a "PS. if you hit the floor then the mops by the door" or something.

how about getting these http://www.icbaby.com/pages/on_target_toilet_t raining_balls_pack_of_2.htm found in the supermarket by the nappies. It may just give them something to aim for.

[natalie_1982]

I don't have a suggestion, but maybe this person has a medical condition? Does anyone smell like wee at your place that you could narrow it down?

At my mum's work there is a phantom poo-er, some, I presume, woman, keeps pooing on the floor in the lady's loos. The thing is she works for a private firm of solicitors so it's not like you'd have random drinkers / drug users coming in that might have an accident and then clear off without saying anything. It's been going on for ove four years.

I'd go with red's "Be a sweetie" suggestion

[Sgt.Rock]

the old
"if you sprinkle when you tinkle,
please be sweet and wipe the seat"

Ladies - there are no seats on urinals!!

[natalie_1982]

LMAO - good point sgt.

"Please remember to point Percy at the porcelein"

"Here's a warning, and it's final
Please aim your winkies at the urinal"

[4getmenot]

sgt thats why she added if you hit the floor the mops by the door

[funnygirl]

Lol @ Natalie's suggestions.

[mccfluff]

love them, please keep them coming

i love the phantom poo'er how odd!

[Lakitu]

I'm horried at whoever is pooing on the floor........why would anyone do that?? :o/

[natalie_1982]

It's disgusting isn't it Lakitu? I have even asked if it is runny indicating that someone needs to get to the toilet quickly , but apparently it's not (sorry if that's a bit to much info). Curiouser and curiouser.....

"Please clean your mess if you miss,
You make the carpets smell like stale p1ss"

[Lakitu]

Is it cubicles? Does she go into a cubicle and then deliberately not use the loo right there, or does she do it anywhere and hope (successfully) that nobody walks in?

Poor cleaner who has to clean that up. I think I'd actually refuse to clean that up if I was the cleaner.

[natalie_1982]

I can only imagine that she does it on the floor of the cubicle, otherwise surely somebody would have walked in on her throughout four years. We know it's not my mum because she left for ten months and it happened in her absence.

But, and I am being nice assuming it's not just some minging cow but somebody with a medical problem, if you made the effort to get into the cubicle then how can you not make it to the loo? AND at what point do you think, enough's enough, I need incontinence pants?

[mccfluff]

that's just plain odd! maybe its a form of tourette's or something like that?

[natalie_1982]

I'm with you though, I would refuse to clean it up :-/

[natalie_1982]

Poourrette's?

[Lakitu]

I'm sitting here laughing, but it's not funny! It's just minging!

Can you imagine walking into a cubicle to be greeted with a steaming fresh turd?? LMAO ewwwwww LMAO

It's a blimin nappy she needs, not an incontinence pad. Dear Lord, I can't imagine considering not going to work without a nappy n if I had issues like that.

I don't believe I'm talking about going to work wearing a nappy :o/

[natalie_1982]

Maybe it's someone kinky who enjoys pooing where she might get caught, like dogging but for poo, not sex.

[natalie_1982]

Sorry for hijacking the thread mccfluff.

You could always leave a pair of wellies outside the gents toilets and ask that when anyone uses the loo they put the wellies on and then leave them at the door when they have finished so that they don't tread the wee through the rest of your workplace.

[mccfluff]

its ok i'm peeing myself laughing here!

we're going dna test all the men, that's the current idea, or we appoint a toilet monitor

[Lakitu]

Hmm, now I seem to remember reading (here maybe?) about people who do things like that for fun, but it was with someone else i.e. one person would poo on a glass table and the other would be underneath admiring the view. Most bizarre. I don't remember what it's called though.