Mrs & Ms

[tamborine]

Am a widow and prefer to be titled Mrs rather than Ms. Ms is a lone female and denotes gender equality according to PC. I'm not comfortable with Ms be bandied globally about me whereas Mr gives no such value.

Am I unduly sensitive?

[jeffa]

Not in the slightest!

[Baldric]

No, I don't think so, you are entitled to be addressed in the way you prefer imo!

[andy-hughes]

It's your choice - if you prefer Mrs as your form of address, then insist on it.

[naomi24]

No. Before I married I was Miss, now I'm married I'm Mrs. I always think Ms stands for 'misery'.

[ABerrant]

I offer no opinion on your sensitivity but you are incorrect about the meaning of the honorific.

Ms (in the exact same way as Mr) is used regardless of marital status.

[LyndaB]

As I always understood it, Ms does not necessarily mean lone female. It was initially brought in so that you could not differentiate between married or not married just by reading the title - as is the case with Mr. I am married but used to insist on being referred to as Ms. Now I am older, I realise there are far more important things to think about!

[woofgang]

You are entitled to require people to call you whatever you choose. I don't think you are being unduly sensitive.

[Baldric]

A little info here, as always

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ms.#Historical_development_and_revival_of_the_term

[nelliebee]

Do some people go back to Ms. when they are widowed? I was very proud to becom a Mrs, and now widowed would not dream of being anything other.
No you are not being too sensitive tamborine, everyone has a choice. I agree with you 100%

[boxtops]

You are still Mrs. Some people may call you Ms if they are not sure what to call you, but widows are Mrs unless they choose otherwise.

Incidentally - when I divorced I kept my married name, I was still Mrs in between marriages.

[woofgang]

nelliebee, how could I go back to Ms. I have never been Ms. You can call yourself Ms as a married, divorced, single or widowed lady, Ms is a non specific honorific.

[dunnitall]

Agree. Not too sensitive, you should be called what you wish to be addressed as and I think things have gone mad today with how we are guided. Never heard the word Ms years ago, the only thing I use it for is when writing letters when I don't know if the woman is married or not. Covers a multitude of sins in the hope you don't offend by calling a married woman Miss or vice versa.

[pastafreak]

I call myself Ms...I am divorced and have no desire to be called Mrs. It just doesn't seem right...

[nelliebee]

Woofgang, I was not suggesting for one moment, that you could go back to being a Ms as I said, once a Mrs always a Mrs (In my opinion) as I said before not everyone perhaps shares my opinion

[woofgang]

Nellie, They are no more or no less Ms's whether they are married or not. All Ms indcates is that you are female, the same as Mr does a male. The reversion after the end of a marriage would be to Miss.

[nelliebee]

I agree that most people would perhaps prefer to go back to Miss or Ms. after a divorce, it depends on the circumstances. I was only saying that when widowed, particularly as an older person, I prefer to be Mrs.

[Robinia]

I've been divorced many years but still use Mrs *married name*. I was going to change back but I couldn't be bothered with the rigmarole and I didn't want to be Miss or Ms either.

[Prudie]

If you mean people who don't know you call you Ms and you don't like it then yes a tad sensitive - it's seems a reasonably polite way to address a woman when you don't know her marital status. Once you've said you wish to be called Mrs then they should respect that I agree. I divorced many years ago, kept the surname but reverted to Ms. Miss on a more mature woman suggests lone female far more to me than Ms, had I been widowed I'm sure I would have kept the Mrs.

[pixie373]

Ms isn't actually the equivalent of Mr. Mr is a married man and Master is an unmarried man- it's just that men generally call themselves Mr as adults whether they are married or not. There's no reason women can't do the same.

[EcclesCake]

Who addresses you as Ms?

I'm trying to picture a scenario where people would be addressing you as such rather than assuming you were a Mrs and I'm just not coming up with one.

If you don't wear your wedding ring for whatever reason then strangers may assume you have not married and rather than call you Miss choose Ms, as a nod towards your maturity and a unsureness on their part of how to address an apparently unmarried lady of a certain age.