You About Pixie?

[gness]

Think this may be your area.
Just had a call from the home. They are calling for an emergency assessment of Mum because she is deteriorating fast....physically a mess and becoming non responsive.
I have been told I may need to look for a nursing home for her. I'm sure I will get some advice from the assessment team but I am green when it comes to nursing homes so any tips you may have about what to look for..
...if it is in your experience..will be welcome. Gx

[pixie373]

Hi gness. I think the best thing to do would be to visit some local ones and go online for reviews and inspection results. What usually happens is that Social Services will find a bed and let you know where it is. But you can tell them if you have strong objections to the place they find. It can take a while to find a space. The good news is that she'll have a nurse present 24 hours a day and also, on our nursing units, the residents automatically get the large pads! It does sound like the right move for her. Wishing you both all the best xx

[pixie373]

Are you looking for private? X

[gness]

Thanks for that Pixie..I'll start looking at reviews but I can't see that she will be with us for much longer. Wish she would go before the upheaval of moving her.....she is so tiny now every movement seems to hurt.
Mind you...trust her to do this when I have been battling for larger pads and won!

Thanks again....Gx

[gness]

Not private...well I don't think so. What would be the difference?

[pixie373]

Not a lot, to be honest. Nursing is NHS, so no reason to pay. I just wondered that they seem to be asking you to choose one, where it's usually an assessment with Social Services who will find her somewhere. They may also decide to leave her where she is, if she really doesn't have long left x

[gness]

Thanks, Pixie...I obviously need to wait for the outcome of the assessment but I tend not to hang about when something needs to be done.
Which is why the children at school called me..Mrs DoItNow! x

[Psybbo]

Hi gness, just to say I'm thinking of you xxx

[pixie373]

Lol. It's good to be prepared! Do let them know if you would prefer her to stay where she is now (I'm assuming Residential?). We often didn't move people who "should" have been, towards the end, as we knew them and their preferences. We had District Nurses in, when necessary and the Carers were able to give medication, pressure care, turning etc. We were generally given a temporary extra member of staff to allow more time with a dying person. Apart from the nurse, the main difference with Residential is it is illegal to put bedsides up! (deprivation of liberty) even with someone bedbound.
Speak to the staff who look after her and know her well and see what they think? X

[tonyav]

Yeah, sorry to hear this about mum, gness.

[gness]

Thanks Psyb and Tony....it's residential but the District Nurse is having to go in daily and Ma is now refusing all drinks, has to be turned hourly and changed numerous times a day so I guess it may be getting too much for the staff...though they have been wonderful....time will sort it. x

[tonyav]

Good luck, gness.

[pixie373]

Bless her. Not taking any liquids at all? X

[gness]

She's refusing the Fortisips but letting them wet her mouth. She drank some milk when I was there.... I suppose the dehydration took over.
I'm convinced she is trying to die somewhere in the poor muddled mind and this is her way.

[pixie373]

Without wanting to sound harsh, it does sound as if her body is shutting down. I'm sorry. But if she is not drinking now, i would leave her where she is xx

[gness]

I'm of that opinion too, Pixie.
My brother and I have been chatting this morning but we also remember the last time she did this a few months ago. We prepared for the end and suddenly she rallied.
My brother said people often did this just before dying so it would be any day now.....it wasn't and she was able to go back into the day room.
Many years ago I sat with an elderly neighbour holding her hand until she died. It took hours and every time she stopped breathing I thought this is it...gave her a kiss and she would gasp and start breathing again...scared the life out of me....I was a wreck by morning.
This feels the same only over months....no way to die is it? x

[pixie373]

I know. Things aren't always as they should be. You say she needs regular changing, so something is still going through. Did she literally get to the stage of not drinking before and then start again?
I hope my previous post wasn't too harsh. I genuinely have yours and your mum's best interests at heart, but it would be a shame to disrupt her with s move if she doesn't have too long. That in itself can be quite risky xxx

[gness]

We wonder what there is to go through too, Pixie but she has a grade three pressure sore between her buttocks so I guess even a very little is painful.

[gness]

Oh and not harsh at all...I appreciate any help and advice. x

[pixie373]

Manuka honey- miracle cure for bedsores. Never seen anything work like it. Let us know how you get on and if i can help in any way, i will xx

[gness]

Thanks, Pixie....from another Manuka fan....x