What will you be wearing?

[Aprilis]

As the festivities begin and while we are still allowed to celebrate Christmas, I was wondering what outfits people will be wearing for Christmas?

Myself I shall be wearing a straight jacket and duct tape so that I can relax safe in the knowledge that I will be incapable of inadvertantly offending anyone. To make it festive I may add some sparkly sequins as I feel that they should be innocuous enough not to offend anyones sensibilities.

I thought this an appropriate dress code seeing as it seems the lunatics have taken over the asylum. Is there anyone out there kind enough to strap me in?

[JoolsTwo]

Sounds very fetching - I might just see if I can find one similar. What colour is yours by the way? I don't want to clash - incase we both end up in the same asylum. :-)

Happy Christmas. Jools

[Aprilis]

JimJools I was thinking a nice neutral beige with gold sequins. Problem is that the duct tape is silver so it won't match. Know anywhere that does gold duct tape?

[Aprilis]

Oh...and a very happy Christmas to you too JimJools :o)

[Lore]

I'd happily strap you in Aprilis but I'm having a bit of a problem here myself... someone's fastened my buckles a little bit too tight!

p.s I went for the white jacket with sparkly silver buckles, gold doesn't work with my fair skin. :o/

[what..the?]

I will be wearing nothing but a santa hat...l only hope it's not to nippy out!

[Aprilis]

Very sophisticated and festive white and silver may be Lore but I fear that someone out there is going to complain that white is offensive/unacceptable in some way. Hence my choice of a neutral colour. Although some may consider beige offensive too just by virtue of some shades being aesthetically unpleasant!

However, I heartily support your freedom of choice and expression and wish you a merry Christmas. Here...let me loosen those buckles for you...

what..the? I take it you must be very aesthetically pleasing then? Post us a pic so we can all deliberate on it and make our own minds up. I don't just support your freedom of expression...I positively encourage it! However, I will remain covered as I am trying not to offend here.

[normy]

I guess it will be the inevitable... new undies and socks, after showering with my new shower gel and deoderant, before clearing my nose onto my new hankies. I hope i get a shirt to go with my new cufflinks

[Aprilis]

normy don't tell her I told you, but your Auntie says she is at this very moment knitting you a cosy new pullover to match your Christmas socks. Bet ya can't wait huh?

[normy]

as long as shes not knitting my undies again... i've still got the chafing on my thighs from last year

[Aprilis]

Good God normy knitted undies with Grannies gift of polyester slacks. You must be a fire hazard with all that static.

....Right, having done a risk assessment on your pressies you are forbidden from wearing them near the Christmas pudding and Brandy....and for pity's sake, don't be roasting your chestnuts on an open fire. Melted acrylic undies are no joke.

[normy]

do you say that from your own Acrylic undies experience, Aprilis?

I light up like a christmas tree and can be seen for miles around.....

[Aprilis]

Absolutely normy! After my terrible ignited undercarriage ordeal (which I still find traumatic to talk about) I am now a strictly cotton drawers kinda gal. Big ones to hide the scars. I was banned from Tesco's service station for life and the psychological scars are something I have learned to live with. Whilst I am sure you look very festive lit up like that I would not wish the same misfortune on you so I implore you, do be careful with your man-made fibres and ask a friend to fill your car with petrol.

[normy]

Im so sorry to hear about your unfortunate experience, and thank you for sharing it with me and the other abers, and I hope the psycological scars heal quickly...

I'm also now going to ditch the deoderant, as i'm sure that it is almost as flammable as the aforesaid undies, and the last thing i need is singed armpits to match my chafing scars! Good job my hankies are 100% cotton

[Aprilis]

I may consider doing without my deodorant too as I do find that it makes my underarm dreadlocks somewhat uncomfortably stiff. I was considering getting them removed but if I tuck them into my big cotton pants they will help keep me warm through the winter.

[normy]

But if you do trim them, you could use them as kindling for the fire, on which to roast chestnuts

Nurrrrrrrrrrrrrse

[Aprilis]

LOL! Have a fab Christmas normy ;o)

[normy]

Will do,
you too Aprilis, and may santa empty his sack down your chimney..

PS, I have some Mistletoe xxx

[Aprilis]

Me too....

http://www.mistletoe.org.uk/Images/iconic2.jpg

Mwaaah!

[normy]

ho ho ho

[Aprilis]

Hey normy....I only gave you an innocent Crimbo kiss under the mistletoe. No need to call me a ho...and three times too!!! LOL ;o)