For Those With Dirty Minds...

[Jemisa]

These may sound bad but the moral at the end is a good one...

I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.


Now I ride on escalators all the time.
...............................................................

I took my fingers and slowly,
and gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice ... I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.
I was done.

And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.
...................................................................

I squeezed it gently at first,
then a little bit harder.
There seemed to be more and more of it
I moved it towards my lips.
It was a strange and new sensation for me.
I put it in my mouth
and moved it around and around with my tongue.
The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out.
It was quite an experience.

The 1st time I tasted toothpaste.

[Grimaldi]

Not for me, then.

[Zeuhl]

they're very good - have you got any about sh@gging or oral sex?

[Octavius]

I just wanted to appear on the latest post list as having a dirty mind.

But I don't.

[Grimaldi]

My first effort, I see, comes over as a little po-faced.
Is there anything I can add, a character, emoticon, whatever, to indicate irony being employed?

[grasscarp]

No need Grimaldi. A hefty amount of irony is always implied.

[Grimaldi]

Thanks, grasscarp. I'll bear that in mind.

[albaqwerty]

Jem, love them!

Grim, a nudge is as good as a ;-)

[DTCwordfan]

The last one was bit of a mouthful to take in, Jem....

[Grimaldi]

Thanks, too, albaqwerty.
Does that go before or after the text?

[albaqwerty]

DT, any more than a mouthful, I consider a waste :-D

Grim, at great risk, you can put it wherever you like, as long as it's safe!

[grasscarp]

By the way Grimaldi - Welcome to the home for the bewildered a.k.a. Answerbank.

[Grimaldi]

Thank you, fellers. I should fit in nicely.

[marval]

HaHa

[cupid04]

Is it true that women have dirtier minds than blokes? Just asking!

[DTCwordfan]

That's stating the obvious.^