Re building your life

[lil123]

Hi as anyone had to re build their life again after divorce or some other devastating event?
I am trying to but having a really hard time at the moment any inspiration would be most welcome xx

[leg_end758]

Easy .Set out a plan.Then excecute it.Dont waver or falter.

Within 8 weeks of deciding i was emigrating i was in tenerife.it will be 2 years end of march.

Dont let folk talk you out of what you decide is best for you.

Go for it.

H T H ?

[Gill 05]

All you can do is try and take one day at a time, and remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it takes you to reach it. Good luck. :o)

[puss_boots]

Hi lil123 I have had to rebuild my life twice, once after a divorce and again after second hubby died. I haven't got any advice really as I made a lot of mistakes along the way, all I can say is just take your time with any important decisions and have trust in the fact that you will get there and there will be happiness somewhere for you and it will find you when the time is right.

[Drisgirl]

O man -whwre do I start.

See when people say to you take one day at a time and you think its a cliche -- its not.
I used to think that -but its true -dont think too far ahead or you will go nuts.

I f you feel you want to open up then please feel free -I have split my guts on here on numerous occasions and I have had the best support ever.See sometimes its easier to speak to us than people close to ya as they may be suffering as well.

If you want some support off the board just say and I shall give you my EMail addy.

I wont go into my circumstances-cos its not about me- but rest assured that the insanity on here has actually helped me through many a lonely night.

We can try to help ya tho xxx

[leg_end758]

Im also of the philosophy that after each breakup you find someone who cares more for you than the previous one.Its just a journey.

Be strong

H 2 H : )

[cruella]

I think a lot of us on here have been through what you are now going through.
It does take time, different people, different strokes.
I moved away from where I was living, got a new job and carried on until I met my Hubby.
There is life out there, just be patient.
Good luck. Hope everything turns out okay!

[Bewlay Bros]

I have had two major blows in my life what lesser mortals would have probably been on prozac for ever.

I dealt with them in two ways.

1) I am not 100 percent committed to Christianity but am certainly a firm believer. I simply accepted that it was his will, and everything happens for a reason.

2) Realisation that you either deal with it, or you don't. It really was that simplified. DEAL WITH IT or DON'T.

Inspiration??? I am 35 years old, semi retired and have my whole life ahead of me.

Also you can listen to to this and sing "I know it's gonna happen to you someday"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8C3LfTrVcjY

[Ice.Maiden]

That was lovely of dris - and all the replies are sound. Some people think that CB's just full of flippant answers, but if someone genuinely wants some help, or just to talk, there are plenty of great people on here. x

[megan07]

Hi lil, i found it hard when my hubby was killed, i was just 21, and my daughter was 18 month old, but if you have support from family and friends, time is a good healer, best wishes, megan. xxxxx

[Drisgirl]

Thanks Icey.

Everyone is assuming its divorce -it mat well be -but this person hasnt said what it is.

I can try to help you on each as they are both intermigled with me -if that makes sense.

[Bewlay Bros]

She has pretty much said it was a divorce, and upon reading it again it is fair to assume it is.

[raysparx1]

As others have said, it really is a case of one day at the tome, you can't rebuild your life overnight, it is a very slow process, but it will happen just hang in there, keep looking forward because as we all know, "There is no future in the past" I have said it before on here and people are probably fed up with me saying it, but it is fact. what has happened has gone, now it is time to move forward, as wardy says deal with it, plenty of people on here to talk to,

Dris might come across a bit loopy at times, thats cos she is bloody loopy, lol. but she is sound as pound, she can help you and she would help you, she has dealt with real crap and is gradually cming through it, so mail her and talk to her,, good luck and take care, Ray

[lil123]

Hi Drisgirl
I had to leave where I lived, my well paid job, family and friends because of my abusive husband. My son was only a few months old and I had had enough of his threats on my life
I moved in a refuge where we lived for 10months in one small room
Now I have a lovely house that I rent
I am looking for a job but found it hard as I spent most of the time crying at one point
I miss my career but realise that our life and saftey were more important
I cant see myself with a new partner but that is not my priority at the moment
I want to rebuild my life again but I am having alot of bad days at the moment

[unrulyjulie]

I've had to do it a few times due to various reasons lil. You'll get there mainly because you have to ! There is a massive ch1nk of light at the end of the tunnel! Good luck, you're gonna be fine in time. x

[raysparx1]

Well done lil, you got rid of a right turd then, thats so positive, you have already started rebuilding your life, from now on it can only get easier, think of what you left behind, a crock of sh!t, flush it down the carsey and smile, be happy be hopeful, be grateful, Ray xx

[cruella]

lil
I was much in the same position as yourself.
Moved away, had a child to bring up on my own.
I was in despair at times.
I realised one day that the only person to help me was myself. I also had to be responsible for my young Son.
I made a decision that my soon to be ex was not worth a tear, so I got on with it.
It was hard and I did not go looking for a new partner at all.
I am now very happily married to the most wonderful man I could wish to meet.
You will get there, believe me.
All the best and be strong for yourself and your child. Let no man or anyone bring you down.

[megan07]

Hi lil my love, can i also say about Dris, she is a fantastic person and full of good knowledge and kindness, Dris is one top lass, love ya hun, xxxxxxx

Best wishes lil, and lots of love sweetheart, megan. xxxxx

[lil123]

THANK YOU ALL XXXXXXXXXX
I have a tear in my eye but hope in my heart xxxxxxxx

[123everton]

Yes, decide what you want to do with your life and act upon it.
I've always said that when you truly love someone, you never stop loving them, you just stop trying...

[Ice.Maiden]

I've met a few people in your situation lil, and I can honestly say that their lives've improved 100-fold since being brave enough to escape their abusive partners. I'm sure you must feel very down sometimes, but there's always someone on here who'll chat to you. Best of luck - x