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marval | 23:21 Thu 12th Jun 2014 | Jokes
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Little Johnny was called over by the lifeguard at the swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "You're going to have to leave."

"But everyone pees in the pool," protested Johnny.

"Maybe," said the lifeguard. "But not from the diving board."


While staying with his grandma in the country, Little Johnny was asked to go down to the water hole to fetch some water for cooking dinner.

As he waded in a few feet and lowered the bucket, he saw two big eyes looking back at him from across the pool. He immediately dropped the bucket and dashed back to grandma's kitchen.

"Where's my bucket and where's my water?" asked grandma.

"I can't get any water from the water hole, grandma," blurted Johnny.

"There's a big old alligator down there!"

"Now don't you worry about that old alligator, boy. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt anyone. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared as I am, then that
water isn’t fit to drink!"


After losing another tooth, seven-year-old James became even more curious about the elusive tooth fairy.

Finally putting two and two together, he came right out and asked his mother: "Mum, are you the tooth fairy?"

Thinking that he was now old enough to hear the truth, she confessed: "Yes, I am."

James thought about this revelation for a moment and then said: "So how do you get into the other kids' houses?"


A little boy was excited when his father finally agreed to take him to the zoo.

When they got home, his mother asked whether he had a good time.

"It was great," said the boy, "and Dad really enjoyed himself too - especially when one of the animals came in at 20-1."







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