Could you all give me a HUGE kick up the proverbial backside please??

[Smowball]

Ok, going to have a shower and a few deep breaths then will come back to this thread......
Only readers of recent evening post will know what I'm on about but anyway - so much for my "toughening up" intentions!
Was going quite well when Mr Smo kicked off again this morning, I was very good and didnt back down..... till he went to walk out door, then found myself basically apologising - AGAIN!!
What is wrong with me??? ( will be back in 10.......)

[albaqwerty]

Gives Smow a swift kick up her clean tush.

STOP apologising. We know it's easier said than done. If you find that word at the back of your throat just bite your tongue.

It wasn't until my late brother pulled me up and told me to stop saying sorry that I realised how many times I said it.

His words were along the lines of 'what do have to be sorry for? You are a human being and are as entitled to your opinions/thoughts/emotions as the next person.'

[Brinjal]

If he kicks off say "I won't be spoken to like this". And walk away to another room untill he has left or calmed down. It is very hard I know but seems as if he always wins these verbal battles so end it before he really gets going. I hate to say it but things. Don't sound good for you long term. You can't live like that. He can have his say then swan off to work leaving you upset then arrive home and continue again. No no not acceptable.

[rowanwitch]

consider yourself kicked... but then think about where he needs a boot placing with some force...

[Smowball]

I have so say that he was talking utter rubbish, and even as he was talking you could almost see him thinking it. Am not upset, almost find it funny now.

[mrs_overall]

Brinjal took the words right out of my mouth

[lady-janine]

i'll go along with alba. used to bein a violent and mentally abusive relationship. could not understand why it was my fault but believed it was. put up with it for years and then . . . . . wham . . . . .i told him to go and not come back. if i was that stupid and that bad i why was he with me. just stood up to him. best thing i ever did. i had other problems with housing and the children, which you should not have but never said sorry to him again. didn't say anything much. best way. you don't say sorry and you keep on doing something and just ignoring him and his rants. not saying it will work for you but it did for me.

[lady-janine]

btw. proverbial kick coming your way.

[boxtops]

Remove "sorry" from your vocabulary, smow - the only "sorry" you should be saying is to yourself, for putting up with this for so long.....

[rockyracoon]

Consider this a royal arse kicking! Smow you are worth much more than this, how long do you want this to continue? he is bullying you because you let him, Brinjal has given good advice.

[albaqwerty]

ooh LJ, I wasn't in your predicament, I was just a mouse.

[mrs_overall]

BTW, I am not going to kick your butt, but instead...

<<<<<<<big hug>>>>>>>

[Kiki-frog]

This man is behaving like a spoilt brat. How would you deal with these tantrums in a child? Because that's what he is.

[bednobs]

this man clearly does not want to be in this relationship

[lady-janine]

alb not only was i an object ohis abuse i had to make sure the children were noft alone with him. he would use them as objects of his physical and mental cruelty as well. i have a very low tolerance level on anyone like that now.

[Smowball]

Ouch! I now have a very sore behind! Seriously, you are all right(as usual!)He is almost stuck in this way of acting, when he is in a mood, because he gets away with it I think. Lastnight he was totally fine. Maybe he needs therapy!

[mrs_overall]

Snowball, forgive me for being blunt, but give an honest answer - do you want to stay in this relationship?

[tonyav]

Smowball, as i have said before, he is doing it because he can.

[Smowball]

Mrs O - Ive thought about this constantly and obviously I see all the nice bits that you all dont. But its this aspect of him that I dont like. And like kiki says - its true, its just like a childs tantrum. I havent looked at ot like this before. And I pacify him,like a child. i would tell you what this morning was about but you would all burst out laughing..... lol

[lady-janine]

smow perhaps you would get on better if you lived apart but stayed friends.