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Elbows On Table

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Thisoldbird | 11:13 Tue 19th Mar 2024 | ChatterBank
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I've just read one of those tik toc videos on Facebook..a little lad, possibly 2ish eating. Feeding himself, elbow on the table, slouched over the plate.

The comments I found horrendous after someone dare to suggest the child should get the elbow off the table, sit up instead of slouch.

Answers were  it's not the dark ages, whats wrong with elbows, we've moved on from then..

Another says, it's just another way to control people  leave him alone. 

I'm old-school where manners at least are a priority.  Do 'you' think it doesn't matter any more. Have manners slipped so badly?

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I think it matters.  Good table manners are accepted everywhere.  Bad table manners let people down.  

Why is it so wrong to have elbows on the table?

What harm is it doing?

I think it's really about encroaching on a neighbour's space, corby.  The 'rules' say not only should elbows be kept from the table, but also kept in towards the owner's body whilst eating.

My dad was a stickler for table manners. Definitely no elbows on the table and we had to ask permission to leave the table once we had eaten our meal. And woe betide us if we ever ate with our mouths open.

 

I taught both my daughters to eat properly and they were using small, safe cutlery from a very early age.  Certainly I remember that one mum, at her child's 2nd birthday party being rather amazed by this and that was over 40 years ago.

Recently I was invited to  watch a video of someone's little darling 'eating' his 1st birthday cake (obviously an expensive one)by smashing his hands and arms into it and covering his face with cake. Te younger women were all making cooing versions of 'aaahh, bless'.  I refrained from comment.

Yes it matters. People's methods of feeding themselves (sometimes revolting) should not cause  concern to others.

My sister and I were bought up never to have elbows on the table, talk with your mouth full, use both knife and fork and never ever ever sit down at the table wearing a hat.That code remains with me today and I am not ashamed of  good manners and table etiquette. Please may I leave this post. Thank you.

Not only is it good manners but sitting up straight when eating is the best posture to help digestion. 

i agree with jordain, people's manner of feeding themselves should not concern others

Forgot to add. In our humble abode you   may remain seated for the 'Loyal Toast' and the Port is always passed round to your left.

I think if he's a toddler and is only just getting used to feeding himself, it's not such a big deal. Way more annoying with an older child or an adult. 

 

Better than eating with your mouth open though.

^

Wish Ferguson, Frank and Allardyce had been brought up not to chew gum with their mouths open.

For those who don't know, all 3 are/were football managers.

There are at least two adverts on TV at present where children are eating holding their forks halfway along the handle with the prongs facing upwards and using a shovelling motion to get the food into their gobs - it winds me up no end!  

If you don't know the answer to your 10:18 question, then I shall not be the one to tell you.

I once had an older friend from the high aristocracy (daughter of an earl). In later life sadly she succumbed to Alzheimer's, to the point where she couldn't often find her way around her own house, but the amazing thing was, that her manners at table & elsewhere remained as immaculate as they had always been. 

As the saying goes; manners maketh the man (& woman). 

I think I have decent table manners but don't remember ever being "taught" them. It's probably something you learn by imitation.

Oh I was definitely 'taught' manners with a hefty slap around the ear if I forgot them.  When I was with my father in the street and he had cause to stop and chat with ladies of his acquaintance woe betide me if I didn't doff my cap to her. 😩

I think standards overall have slipped.  I wonder how many families actually sit together round a table every day now?

Using a fork with the tines curving upwards is th sensible thing to do. Eating peas balanced on the back of a fork is daft. Some table manners are irrational and often based on what the king or queen used to do, and that it was considered necessary to imitate them instead of doing what was practical. Tipping your soup bowl away from you as you scoop up the last drops of soup; using a fork upside down; even lithping.

Consideration for others is a good thing, but do we really want to be nannied for no good reason?

Some families choose not to have a table to eat from.  I don't know if it's smaller homes that's the reason.

You're not supposed to balance peas on a fork.  You spear them with your fork.

OK, Nanny. :-)

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