According To My Blood Pressure Monitor . . .

[Buenchico]

. . . I'm dead!

It's just come up with "Error 1", which the instruction manual tells me means "No pulse detected".

Perhaps it's actually trying to monitor my brain activity?

[sapelesam]

Google the symptoms, you may be deceased.

[Patsy33]

You need some new batteries!...

[Buenchico]

That's quite possible, Sam.

After all (according to previous googling for my symptoms) my pregnancy was bound to be a difficult one while I'm suffering from beriberi, bubonic plague and nappy rash ;-)

[Buenchico]

I've needed new batteries for a long time, Patsy33, but I've not yet worked out where to shove them in. (No suggestions, please!)

[shoota]

What is the point of having a blood pressure monitor if you have no pulse?

[Jackdaw33]

I have one of those gizmos but they are wildly inaccurate and unreliable because they are not calibrated. I often find I have a systolic of 70 (very low). Press the button again 30 seconds later and it's 140.

[Buenchico]

Mine actually seems to be reasonably consistent and accurate, JD33, but it does seem to throw a wobbly occasionally!

[douglas9401]

Our doctors all use the same machine as I have in the house, Nurse Gladys however goes down the old route of squeeze and scope.
The good news is that according to her my blood, at least, is healthy.

[Patsy33]

A week ago doctor tested my husband's blood pressure and pulse. Blood pressure was a bit on the low side but his pulse was only 48 bpm!. It's not always that low but occasionally it drops quite dramatically. We have bp machine at home and it read the same later that day. Might have to have pace maker eventually.

[Jackdaw33]

My doctor does the same. She explained that it gave a far more accurate reading than the electric jobs. The only problem she had was that she had to hide it away whenever the NHS inspectors came round because she wan't allowed to keep anything containing mercury in her surgery. Elf'n safety or what?

[Buenchico]

Thanks for the posts.

I've largely given up trying to make sense of medical measurements. I largely live on sugar and dairy products (putting three sugars in my coffee, eating biscuits by the packetful and snacking on cheese while I'm cooking a cheesy meal) but my blood sugar readings tend to be very low (2.1 in one case) and my cholesterol reading is in the lowest possible band.

The manual blood pressure thingy at the surgery seems to be stuck as, irrespective of whether I've recently eaten, run to the appointment, rested for ages or whatever, it's always exactly 150 over 90. (At least my home measurements, which are generally quite a bit lower than that, show a bit of variation!)

[Jackdaw33]

I was once told that the ideal BP was 120/80.

[albaqwerty]

Variety is the spice of life, home BP monitor is just reminding you :-D

[Buenchico]

120/80 seems to be the 'norm' quoted by many sources, JD33. That probably explains why the picture on the box for my monitor shows exactly that:
https://tinyurl.com/yaz2paz4

[Buenchico]

>>> Variety is the spice of life

Thanks, Alba. Your reference to 'spice' has somehow reminded me that I've not taken my garlic tablets yet today (which, of course, help to reduce BP).

[fiction-factory]

My blood pressure goes up though Buenchico when I have to work with someone who's been eating garlic- it seems to emanate from every pore.. I think the tablets don't have the same effect though

[gness]

Ah....we must have died together, Chris....wouldn't that have been a fantastic wake!
For the first time ever my calibrated machine gave Error1 this week..........my heart was doing peculiar things but I was surprised to discover it wasn't beating at all.....x

[Buenchico]

The tablets are meant to be odourless, F-F, but I promise to stay off them anyway if you're in the mood for a bit of intimacy ;-)

[Buenchico]

It's good to know that I'm not the only corpse posting here tonight, Gness ;-)

[Jackdaw33]

For a long time I used to chew half a clove of garlic every day. Very effective in warding off colds and infections. The surprising thing was that after a month or so the odour disappeared and no-one complained anymore. It is certainly Nature's most effective antiseptic and antibiotic. Keeps the vampires away too.