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marval | 18:53 Thu 07th May 2015 | Jokes
2 Answers
I've been feeling a little blue recently.
I'm cuddling a Smurf.

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.

Finding someone who can cook the perfect steak without undercooking or thoroughly burning it.

My local supermarket had a 'Giant Sale' on this weekend.
I bought four, not sure where to put them, though.

Just bought some vacant land. Not sure how much it is, but I know it's a lot

I've had to stop collecting packs of cards.
I've got a full house.

I opened the fridge and a lettuce told me to back the favourite in the 3.25 at Ascot.
I think it's just the tip of the iceberg.

When the world is your oyster, all you have to do is stay clam and collected.

My mate told me he has a shed full of geese. I asked him for a gander.

What's the most common type of owl in Britain?
The Teat Owl.

I went to school in a Wendy house. I found it hard to fit in



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very good

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