Women Hmmmmm!!

[berniecuddles]

How is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the crap out of you.

A man put an ad in classified section of the newspaper: “Wife Wanted”.
The next day, he received several responses. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine”.

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.