just stole this from jokes i think its very funny

[lindylou16]

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.


I posted it there too.

[bensmum]

pmsl lindylou!

[beejay1124]

Deni's Law : former footballer
?

[lindylou16]

nice one "keep em coming "

[legendis.god]

that was grate




or do i mean







grated?

[weeal]

Out Law: spouses parent, no gun required

[beejay1124]

George Bernard ' s Law : playwright
ahem
:<)

[NoMercy]

I know this is going off subject but how about this:

Paddy was having a fancy dress party and asked everyone to come dressed as a human emotion.

When the party was in full swing, the door bell rang and paddy answered it to see Mick dressed in an all-in-one green body suit with the letters N and V emblazoned upon the chest.
"What have you come as Mick?" asked Paddy.
"I'm green with envy" Mick replied.
A few minutes later, the door bell rang again and this time Paddy saw Siobhan standing there naked save for a bright pink feather boa censoring her naughty bits.
"What have you come as?" Paddy asked.
"I'm tickled pink!" she replied.

A few minutes later Paddy answered the door to see two guys standing there, one with his knob in a bowl of custard and the other with his todger inside a pear.
"Jaysus," cried Paddy. "What the bejusus are you doing there dressed like that? And what have you come as anyway?"
"Well I'm just f****ing discustard and Niall 'eres just come in dispair!"

[gonzo00]

how do ya get a fat girl into bed???....piece of cake!!!

[~max~]

Know the story about the retarded dwarf? Well, it's not big, and it's not clever.

[weeal]

lol

[gonzo00]

what's the difference between a harley davidson and a hoover???...the position of the dirtbag!!!

[weeal]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

[NoMercy]

What's the difference between a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce?

Someone's gonna lose a trailer.........

[legendis.god]

Never heard it before ina movie or since


Utah youre young dumb and full of c um





lmao






they dont make em like they used to eh?

[gonzo00]

50 year old woman goes to doctor's. when she gets home she tells her husband..the doctor says i have the breasts of a 25 year old..and the doctor says i have the bottom of a 30 year old.
husband asks..what did he say about your 50 year old c**t??
woman replies...he never mentioned you!!!

[beejay1124]

hiya gonzo mate
local tv at the mo--seen ballyhalbert on there

[gonzo00]

what's happenin in ballyhalbert beejay??

[weeal]

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: 'Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?'
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: 'Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....'

[gonzo00]

couple go to doctors for the results of the wifes blood test.
doctor says...not too sure but it could be either aids or altzhiemers.
husband asks..what should i do??
doc replies..let her back to your house..and if she finds it ...DON'T f**k her!!

[gonzo00]

*walk*back!