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kellogs100 | 20:24 Thu 02nd Oct 2008 | Relationships & Dating
7 Answers
For a few days my partner & I have been arguing at work due to there being a girl there that I think he flirts with & she's recently become quite bitchy towards me.

Yesterday, I know its silly but he had a go at me for not covering some sauces. He did this infront of the girl and I later saw her individually wrapping all the sauces!! Then she made a comment about how we didn't seem to be getting on very well. I explained I was tense because my dad is very ill with cancer (which is true) and I'd had some bad news about him. I didn't want to admit to her that anything was wrong with our relationahip.

Then I had a day out with my best friend today. Just as I was on my way home I got a text message from a number I don't recognise saying "guess what your man has been up to on his break". This text was around the time of the end of his break.

I thought maybe he'd done something exciting on his break and as he never has credit he'd borrowed someone elses phone to text me. I didn't bother texting back as I was almost home.

When I got home I asked if he'd text me. He said he'd tried to call me about some money but he hadn't text me. I did also have a couple of missed calls on my phone.

Then I asked him if he'd had a break today and he said he had so I tried to sound as casual as I could and said did you do anything exiting on your break. His reply was watched TV, had a sleep and nearly got laid.

Now I really don't know what to think. I don't know if he was joking. It might also sound odd but I noticed his hair was done different to this morning when I left & the girl seemed to look smarter too. I noticed this before he'd even said he hadn't text me.
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Oh my god! What an *******! Even if he has been behaving himself, that is still no way to act! What did you say to him when he said that? How long have you been together, is it very serious? It may be that this little girl IS trying to sleep with your man but that doesn't mean to say he has done the deed...
...hmmm the plot thickens. Have you kept the number? Why don't you ring it in a couple of weeks and see what happens? Or, if the girl has her phone on her at work, plan for one of your friends to call the number at say 3.00pm and just make sure you are around her at the time and wait to see if her phone goes off. Even if she doesnt answer it, she will at least look to see who is calling.
Perhaps he cant deal with your father being ill, i dont think that is even remotely fair, but i have had friends who have not been supported by their partners at times of extreme stress.........................................

they cant cope and they go "off the rails" and unfortunately that has involved becoming involved wth someone else............. actually what hes might be saying is..........i want out, cos i cant deal with this.

or hes a total total ******* and just want to get rid of you in the nastiest way possible at a time when you really could do without the added stress.....................

but ................................

lets focus on you......................

do you want this hassle on top of dealing with our dad ??

can you cope with your dads problems alone ??

would it better to deal with it alone, albeit that will be hard, than be with someone who can hurt you when you are at your lowest ebb ???

the answer is so unclear, so caught up in the situation with your dad, that i dont know if its possible to advise you at this point, because to be with him will be hard ( do i say i think he sent that email about ...........guess what your boyfriend did on his break ??" ) and being without him will be hard to ..............

my heart goes out to you at this time....................
I am not sure on how serious your relationship is and how old you are. However, it doesn't have much relevance to my answer so here it goes.

This man of yours is very unsupportive and doesn't respect you or the relationship. As heart breaking as this is and as stressful times are, confront him about it. Don't bother with the worry anymore, you don't want to be messed around with. Your the victim here and if he isn't giving you the support and love a partner should, then he doesn't deserve you. As for the girl, I think she is out to annoy you and make things as difficult as possible. My advice is simple for this complex situation:

Confront him get it over and done with. Put the middle finger up at that girl. And most importantly be there for your dad, he needs you. Its vital that you seize each day, life is to short to be wasted.

Hope your heart helps guide you through this.
Much love and support,
Sam Nightfold.
-- answer removed --
Sounds like theres a bit of flirting going on, or I hate to say, an affair. This woman seems to be out to get you in some way and is revelling in your misery/anxiety, im sorry but I would have slapped her by now! but you have enough on your plate what with your father, and im sorry if im to the point but I have to say what I think. Your father is very ill, yet your partner is more concerned about having a little game with this woman...where are his concerns for how you may be feeling??? Im sorry but if someone were doing that to me despite the fact of what was happening in mine and my fathers life, I would get shot of them, cos they are inconsiderate and heartless...you dont need the added concern of what he is up to, you have enough on your plate, so I would just concentrate on the people who care for you, namely your father and get rid of this selfish little a r s e!!!!!
You sound very young. I'm also confused what sauce has got to do with anything? I am assuming that you all work together?

How long does he get for his break, it sounds pretty good to me if he has time to watch TV, have a sleep and nearly get laid (how DO you nearly get laid btw?)

Have you actually said anything to him about him flirting with some other girl? If not, I think you should. It sounds to me like she fancies him - that is not his fault, he can't help that. He may be oblivious to that fact, most men are, and not realise that he is could be encouraging her.

At the moment it doesn't sound to me like you have any evidence whatsoever that he even likes this girl (doing his hair a different way doesn't count!) and even if she is coming on to him, it doesn't mean he would ever do anything about it!!!
no offence but he sounds like a total C*ck!!!

looks to me like this girl fancies him and she is digging the knife in!! B*tch

and he maybe likes her to? or at least knows she likes him and it being a big headed c*ck about it!!!

i mean fancy saying that to your girlfriend??? "i nearly got laid"

im sorry but this just looks like he is taking you for a ride?

are you serious? how long you been together?

and where did she get your number from? you need to find out if the number is hers?

seriously id leave them 2 it, dont be taken for a ride

good luck xx

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