Am I Wrong

[fruitsalad]

My Grandaughter lives with us 90% of the time, for the last 4 weeks she comes home from school and sometimes brings her friend with her, straight from school and sometimes her friend comes round after an hour or so, I've told my Grandaughter I don't mind her friend coming round a couple of times a week but I don't want it every night, they sit in her bedroom they are no real trouble, apart from a bit of music, which I tell them to turn down if it gets loud, am I wrong not wanting this every night, or is it because I'm getting to old for all this.

[Redhelen72]

Thats a toughie - its your house your rules but your grandaughter is allowed a life too - I am assuming that you wanted her to come and live with you so you need to accept everything that goes along with a teenager living with you

[davebro3]

Kids like to hang out - leave them too it

[naomi24]

I'd leave them to it. 

[calmck]

How old are the girls? Is the other one home alone if she is not ar yours? Are they doing homework? Why not have a chat with your granddaughter and explain how you feel and set up guidelines. Number of times a week, when she arrives and leaves. Maybe give her specific days and times

[Auntypoll]

Leave them be. You don't know what the friend maybe escaping from by coming to yours every day. 

[construct1245]

Maybe set certain days when they can hang out at your house after school

[fruitsalad]

They are both 12 I have now told her I don't mind a couple of times a week, but not every night, but of course with the bad weather, I can't even say go out and hang out.

[naomi24]

I wouldn't want them hanging about the streets.  That would worry me.  I'd rather know where they are.

[Hazlinny]

Can your grand-daughter not visit her friend on occasions
or is there a reason why she cannot?

[smudge]

Hi fruitsalad - it's nice that friends want to be together, but does your Granddaughter ever get invited to her friend's house, or is she only ever at yours? If so, does her Mother ever contact you to thank you for having her every afternoon &/or evening, as it does seem a bit one sided and can see why you sometimes tire of it? 

[fruitsalad]

Hazlinny, I believe the Father has a long term illness.

[smudge]

Oh, there were only two answers when I posted mine! 

[fruitsalad]

Very rarely Smudge, it's mainly me, that has them here.

[smudge]

fruitsalad - I suppose you should feel honoured that they enjoy being at yours together, but glad you've since told your Granddaughter that it can't be every afternoon/evening. Enjoy the rests inbetween. 😏   

[bednobs]

my daughter is coming up or 12 n2xt month, and has started doing a similar thing. ATM it's only 1 or 2 days a week, but i work till 6 from home and don't wantthem listening in.  Aslo my house is an utter tip!

i grin and bear it because she has so much trouble making friends in the past.  Incidentally the friend lives with hr grandma too and sometimes they go round there

[bhg481]

Enjoy seeing your granddaughter whilst you can. It won't be long before she might take a sabattical from being a human being and turn into one of those strange teenage creatures before she returns to the human race a few years later.

[Auntypoll]

Your grandchild is in a safe environment with a friend, I honestly cant see the problem. Are you feeding her? If so then thats different, though it would'nt bother me but if thats a problem tell her she can come after shes had her tea. What would you rather have them do hang around the bus shelter? or a lonely child on her own in her bedroom looking at potentially inappropriate things on social media?

[smurfchops]

I think you should be honoured that they are both happy to be in your house, it is probably a safe haven for them, much better than roaming the streets with goodness knows who, they are young, not doing anything wrong, make the most of having your grand daughter wanting to be near you.  

[jno]

it's kind of fruitsalad, but grandparents aren't meant to be every-day carers - they've done that already. They're entitled to their own lives to live and a home of their own. I hope you can get a break.

[Auntypoll]

A break from what? Two children quietly listening to music in their bedroom? I'm with smurfchops on this one, you are providing a safe place for your grandchild where she can bring friends, you should be proud.