Crosswords3 mins ago
Marriage
49 Answers
I've never seen the point of it...
Ive had several long term relationships but never once
thought of getting married.
On the other hand, I've had numerous friends,
acquaintances and family members whose lives have been destroyed by
divorce (financially) etc which wouldnt have happened if they never married in
the first place.
I know that I will probably be shot down for this but why are humans the
only animal on the planet that feels the need to sign a piece of paper
(after a ceremony) to be pledged to remain together?
Other animals (Such as swans) naturally mate for life with no paperwork...
Ive had several long term relationships but never once
thought of getting married.
On the other hand, I've had numerous friends,
acquaintances and family members whose lives have been destroyed by
divorce (financially) etc which wouldnt have happened if they never married in
the first place.
I know that I will probably be shot down for this but why are humans the
only animal on the planet that feels the need to sign a piece of paper
(after a ceremony) to be pledged to remain together?
Other animals (Such as swans) naturally mate for life with no paperwork...
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We will have been married fifty years this September. Why did we bother to get a wedding certificate? To give our future children legitimacy. To symbolically confirm our intentions to each other. To secure legal status and entitlement. To publicly declare our status as a jointly agreed and legally recognised couple. To make reciprocal vows to each other, stating love and devotion. Fifty years ago these things mattered. To us, they still do.
david - // We will have been married fifty years this September. Why did we bother to get a wedding certificate? To give our future children legitimacy. To symbolically confirm our intentions to each other. To secure legal status and entitlement. To publicly declare our status as a jointly agreed and legally recognised couple. To make reciprocal vows to each other, stating love and devotion. Fifty years ago these things mattered. To us, they still do.//
I can only concur with your post entirely.
I have been married for thirty-eight years in August, and my commitment to my wife was important, and I symbolise it by wearing a wedding ring.
There were, and are practical considerations - it enables us to make simple wills for each other, and our children and grand-children and great-grandchild - it is not to do with 'signing a piece of paper'.
People can be hurt badly by divorce - but people die in car crashes, it doesn't stop me owning and driving a car.
If you enter marriage with an eye on how traumatic a divorce may be, then you are either marrying the wrong person, or marriage is not for you.
Either way, it's not compulsory - if it suits you not to do it, then fine, I don't judge.
I can only concur with your post entirely.
I have been married for thirty-eight years in August, and my commitment to my wife was important, and I symbolise it by wearing a wedding ring.
There were, and are practical considerations - it enables us to make simple wills for each other, and our children and grand-children and great-grandchild - it is not to do with 'signing a piece of paper'.
People can be hurt badly by divorce - but people die in car crashes, it doesn't stop me owning and driving a car.
If you enter marriage with an eye on how traumatic a divorce may be, then you are either marrying the wrong person, or marriage is not for you.
Either way, it's not compulsory - if it suits you not to do it, then fine, I don't judge.
A divorced (2x) person here.
We'll bypass the first one and jump to the second. I can only speak for myself, but I can still remember quite distinctly the day I felt deep down that this was the man I wanted/expected to grow old with. That required a commitment which I was fully willing to make...both from the emotional standpoint, but also legally to give our union protection...for both of us.
Unfortunately we started to drift apart after about 20 years...different expectations, goals, a naturally occurring situation for some? Then I learned that he had "moved on"...and that was it. I declared it over...and can admit to panic mid-divorce. I feared I'd done the wrong thing, had no idea how I'd manage as a late middle aged woman on my own. But I reminded myself what the previous few years were like...and got on with things.
The legal union at least left me with some financial protection that has gone a long way to help me keep my head above water the past 20 years. I'm grateful for that.
We'll bypass the first one and jump to the second. I can only speak for myself, but I can still remember quite distinctly the day I felt deep down that this was the man I wanted/expected to grow old with. That required a commitment which I was fully willing to make...both from the emotional standpoint, but also legally to give our union protection...for both of us.
Unfortunately we started to drift apart after about 20 years...different expectations, goals, a naturally occurring situation for some? Then I learned that he had "moved on"...and that was it. I declared it over...and can admit to panic mid-divorce. I feared I'd done the wrong thing, had no idea how I'd manage as a late middle aged woman on my own. But I reminded myself what the previous few years were like...and got on with things.
The legal union at least left me with some financial protection that has gone a long way to help me keep my head above water the past 20 years. I'm grateful for that.
