>>> Being retired isn't all it's cracked up to be is it?
Your 'crack' reference, Roy, reminds me of the moment in One Foot in the Grave when Victor Meldrew's wife related his experience with UK customs officials:
"Well... the man had just stopped him how they do, and said 'how are we today sir?', to which Victor replied, 'I'm fine apart from the crack in my bottom', you know how he suffers with that crack, so that was it, he was in there two and a half hour while they looked for it."
;-)