A Very Long Speech

[Rondy]

A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."

A voice from the back of the room replied, "There's a bloody calendar behind you..."

[vulcan42]

That reminds me of an incident at the first lock down. A group of us were queuing for the first time outside Tesco's, all six feet apart and moving up slowly as each person entered. That is all apart from the man behind me who was on his phone and didn't move up. Finally he finished texting and turning to the man behind said "Sorry about that I was telling the wife I'd be late" Oh, said the man behind him," is that what you were doing, I thought you were writing a bloody novel".

[AZardoz]

Only the British can deliver such gems.
Folks across the pond are not that eloquent.