eastenders

[Priya.c]

whats happening at christmas?

[christie]

Alfie,nana and spencer get kicked out ov the vic and have to sleep in a icecream van.Paul gets shot by gangstas and apparantly gets killed,Thats all i no so far.

[bernardo]

Nobody knows, because it hasn't happened yet (dur!)

[5029]

andy has paul killed on xmas day.

 

poor bernardo!

[Dom Tuk]

Pat and Den have a long snog in the allotment. sarah the bunnyboiler comes back with a christmas present for Martin. Michelle (different actress) is back and chances upon the lovers in the allotment when she goes there to grieve for arfur. demi's boyfriend is invited to the Millars for a Chavfest.Ian and his bird plot to kill off the invalid husband but Ian recommends that they buy an inflated life insurance policy before they do him. They plot to poison his brandy butter sauce but Darren nicks it for the chavfest and inadvertantly wipes out the millars. And the Romanian illegal that Phil married comes back and asks for her half of the pub

 

[galltin]

And why not Dom Tuk. It doesn't sound any worse than some of the tut they come out with.

[Eastender]

Nana moon loses her marbles (again). Spencer moon does a tango aroung the christmas tree. Little mo, wins a talent contest, as Frank spencer. The Feriaras all have head transplants. Den watts gets a computer, and shows chrissie how to use it. Minty gets lost in the square, trying to find the vic. Charlie slater gets a new eyeball. Zoe slater actual sells a garment off her stall, and receives a congratulations card. All the rest do the hokey cokey down the frog and toad!!!!!!!!!!!!

[greenfingers]

Dom Tuk, That is wonderful, If it were that good I might even start to watch the programme!!

[BigDogsWang]

Kat starts shouting louder and louder until everyone spontaniously combusts. This begins a chain reaction which eventually spreads to Corrie, Emerdale, Neighbours, etc.....until the whole world is rid of Soap once and for all. Then people could get off their fat ar*es, go outside and get a life.

[Octavius]

I'm going round me mums for dinner

[Insane Wally]

Alfie don�t get kicked out of the Vic, Shane Richtea�s head gets so large it won�t fit through the Vic�s double doors, so he sleeps in the icecream van with his head in the freezer to try & shrink it a bit.

[Ray the DJ]

Whatever happens, I hope one or two of the characters will cheer up and smile.

[ginnytaylor3]

Dom Tuk, what is a Chavfest please? Yes I am blonde and no, I am not a bimbo

[mike.hobbs3]

who f**king cares....the programme is the most badly written, badly acted, intelligence insulting, pile of steaming ***** ever!

[bernardo]

I think  they should have a spin-off series of reality TV which shows CCTV and Big-Brother-style cameras following and watching James "Amazinglygorgeou" Alexandrou all day long.  If they get rid of all the sport and other reality programmes and stuff I'm not interested in, and rearrange the scheduleas a bit they should be able to put it on BBC2 (almost) permanently - except when I'm watching Martin the Marvellous Muscular Macho Man on EastEnders on BBC1..

[gluff]

Guy Ritchie gets to write it and gets real eastenders to move into the square  to kill,mame and feed to pigs all of the spongers there. They have a bare knuckle fighting match,make and lose lots of dosh,then the 'pikeys' shoot everyone whose a bad actor then anyone left takes their dog for a walk.

[eggman]

If it's East Enders, most probably a good funeral I would have thought!   Cor blimey, guv, what a knees up that would be, an' no mistake!

[5029]

"With an alcoholic and cheating Kat gone Alfie�s troubles are far from over. At Crimbo, he finds himself penniless, jobless and homeless.

While he and Spencer doss down in Ian�s fish and chip van, old Nana is dispatched off to the Slaters where their idea of seasonal warmth is to sit around the candles in their overcoats.

Den decides to give himself the best gift of all. As part of the on-going feud between the warring Mitchells and Watts, he buys the Queen Vic from a desperate Sam at a bargain basement price.

There�s an inevitable family row as Den, Chrissie, Sharon, Dennis, Vicki and Zoe settle down to pluck their first turkey together.

Who�s stuffing who is inevitably on Zoe�s mind and she suspects that it�s not just bells that are jingling between dysfunctional sister and brother Shazza and Dennis.
And in what promises to be a memorable ding-dong, there are two shock announcements, followed by two people leaving Walford.

Brotherly love is much more heartfelt with Diddy Darren Miller. Displaced by twin Dummy Demi�s baby, Aleesha-Beyonc�, he decides to buy his sister a particularly seasonal present. A donkey.
Presumably, the little tea-leaf hasn�t got round to stealing the frankincense and myrrh yet.

Elsewhere, local villain Andy Hunter is dreaming of a white Christmas, which has more to do with the Colombian cocaine crop than snowfall. But his drugs deal goes wrong, leaving runner Paul in a deadly position.

Come the New Year, it really will be a case of out with the old and in with the new. Dirty Den, Kate, Andy and  the Ferreiras will all leave.

And, by the time Big Ben chimes, there are two new arrivals. And if Alfie�s cousins Danny and Jake are half as good as him, then 2005 might be a year to look forward to."