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Make My Day - Alzheimer's Stories......

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DTCwordfan | 16:56 Thu 28th Nov 2013 | ChatterBank
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Having a cold and just enduring the mental torture of repetition, I wonder if you would like to share any of your Alzheimer's stories, the more amusing ones to be appreciated. Even though they are often a sad indictment of the patient, there can be some pretty amusing ones to be had.

I have just taken the mater into town shopping, six miles back and nine "That didn't take long" remarks later, I need some light relief.

Over to you good folk to spill the beans.

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My mum told me once that if she lost the plot or became ill she would much rather go into a home than let me look after her. Alas she died aged 58 from emphysema.

I had a senile cat and a senile dog - but euthanasia is always an option if the quality of life decreases.
Went to visit my great aunt in the rest home and another lady resident came into the lounge, hitched her dress up under her chin, dropped her pants and squatted over the large plant pot and used it as a pee pot, Auntie got out of her chair and punched the poor woman in the face. (both had dementia).
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Bless you. I spend a lot of time with people with Alzheimer's - although not as much as i did. Sometimes, though, it's the smaller things that stick in your mind. Must be a lot harder when it's a relative though.
It's strange, because i was thinking earlier about a lady in our dementia unit, who had very advanced dementia. She hadn't spoken a recognisable word of English for years (certainly not in the 6 years i knew her). She was usually silent, but occasionally growled. Often hit, bit and kicked and had almost forgotten how to eat and drink. One day, another resident fell in the communal lounge and she suddenly yelled out my first name. Didn't even realise she knew it.
It's not amusing, i know, and doesn't sound like much, but all the staff were really shocked. Just goes to show- never underestimate them!
Jordy...to spend years caring for an Alzheimer's stricken relative needs a sense of humour......I've certainly needed mine for the past nine years.
It's one cruel illness/disease.

My mum couldn't remember my name, but always asked after Mr alba and the sprogs (by name) Broke my heart, I like to think she was happy in her mind but some things came out which distressed her and me. (WW2 stuff)

My only light relief was suggesting she organised a birthday party for herself, if she'd forgotten about it, it would have been a suprise birthday party.

I think I'll just go and sob quietly now.
A nursing home I once worked in had a few Alzheimer's patients. I sat with one of the ladies trying to get her to chat. I asked her various questions,not getting much response. So I asked her if she knew her own name an d she knew that. As she seemed to be drifting off to her own little world I asked her if she knew me. What's my name,do you know who I am. She said " I don't know dear but I'm sure if you ask one of the nurses they'll be able to tell you" I was in uniform as well.
Hi DTC....I so know how you feel....I tell myself to pretend it's the first time I have heard it but......so hard.

On a lighter note...My Ma would give the grandchildren a bit of money for doing well in exams...usually about £20 - £25. I knew things were odd when, many years ago, she asked if MissG had done well at school. I said yes... passed all her exams...Granny sent her cash in an envelope.
The following week I got the same question...thought nothing of it and gave the same reply. These weekly conversations were beginning to worry me though I had no idea what was to come...the start of Alzheimer's.
Then MissG phoned to ask why Granny was sending her money every week and the light dawned so I started to say....no she hasn't done well at all. The cash in envelopes stopped.

Some time later I got a call from the hard up daughter at Uni asking if I wouldn't mind telling Granny she had taken more exams and done really well..☺
Not a personal one but I always remember Richard Briers talking about his cousin, the wonderful Terry Thomas.
He had gone to visit him, Alzheimer's now well advanced in his relative. Whilst chatting to him, not getting nor expecting any response, he mentioned that at some time they'll get together again soon and share a bottle of champagne and continued waffling on.
After some minutes, cousin Terrry looked at him and said "Make it a crate".
Fil after a spell in respite came home with 10 sets of teeth...4 watches..about 6 combs and five pairs of glasses ! When I phoned the ward to tell them there was much hilarity as he'd left behind blind gummy Alzheimer's patients in his wake nobody could work out what had happened ....he had to be searched before coming home thereafter...although how they worked out who belonged to what teeth I'll never know !
This is hardly amusing, but here goes. I never saw myself as a Dr Crippen but apparently my 'ward' does. I try to ensure she takes her pain relief medicine, co-codamol, four times a day. This is to help with the pain from a 'bad hip'. She's got used to taking one, rather than the two prescribed, last thing at night. One morning when I made up the two she said these taste different, you're trying to poison me. Now she won't take any. She's in constant pain now on top of everything else
Dad took Mum away for the weekend. Her Alzheimer's was getting worse. They went into M & S as she needed a new handbag. She picked one up, but it was £89!, so Dad picked another one. At the till the manager tried to sell them a store card, as both Mum and Dad were in their late 80's Dad refused. The manager was persistent, so to get out of the store quickly he agreed.
Mum was starting to get unsettled, so the manager ordered them a taxi and took them outside to help them.
Back at the hotel, Dad said "we'd better change the stuff from your old bag, and took the new one out of the carrier, when Mum took the £89 one off her shoulder!

We have lots of funny stories, you have to laugh or things get you down.

I remember Mum refusing to wear a skirt, som Dad took her out without one, "She had her coat on!" Was his reply.
As you all know me and Nungate are big Barcelona fans. One afternoon me, nungate and my gran (nungates mum) were sitting on the couch watching the Sports News Channel. There was this 'Barcelona have signed Cesc Fabregas. Me and mum were in our element like oh we have Fabregas etc. Now my gran who has Alzheimers doesn't really communicate much with us anymore quietly put down her tea looks at as like we are mad (probably were) before calmly coming out with ' Who is Fibreglass' all 3 of us were in stitches. It was nice to still be able to have a laugh with her.
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Jordy - no one's joking, it's more humour and, like it or not, there is humour in dementia - early on the patients even share......My mother got a kick out of what she said when Rick Stein was filming in the Santander or Bilbao port or wherever, turning to the camera, he said, "I wonder what they have in the nets?"

To which my mother responded, "Fish" and then cracked up when she realised what she had said.

Then there was the carer (daughter) down here who took and hid her mother's rings. She couldn't find one for love of money - until - her hubbie making a tagine found something hard buried in the cous-cous jar - yes, the ring. Is dementia genetic - on this, likely so! But at least she laughs at it.

Thanks for the stories, folk, and keep them coming; some crackers already, so 'best one' is going to be tough!
Nearly forgot this one. Whilst working at same nursing home I mentioned earlier we all went out for a day trip. Late getting back and everyone tired,so I got into the lift with three male patients all suffering with one form of dementia or another. Lift got stuck between floors with just me and three gentlemen. We were there for a good while and they were starting to get agitated as late for drug round. To cut a long story short,when they got the lift working again and opened the doors they found...All of us sitting on the floor smoking the last of my ciggies and playing cards. Very rewarding day that was.
Like everything in life, my dodgy mental health included, talking about it and having a laugh actually makes a difference.

Alzheimers is an illness that all of us dread happening to us - I hope that they manage to slow it down or stop it soon. All the advances in the world and we can't stop our brains giving out in such a manner.

My Dad, who does not have dementia, suggested to me, two weeks ago that I should go down to the police station and ask if they had any vacancies for WPC's. He reckons I'd be a good policewoman. He was deadly serious.

He worries about me not having a job at 61 years of age..

My next door neighbour visits her 90 year old mom twice a day, today I took a parcel next door ( postman left it with us, no one in next door ) I asked her how her mom is, next door neighbour said that her mom stated today that she was going to leave school and get a job !.
My Dad doesn't have Alzheimer's, but he does have severe short term memory problems. He fell on Oct 23rd and shattered his femur and is still in hospital. We are hoping for him to come home soon.
Last night he told us that he had had a dream about going fishing in Retford, which he did very many years ago. He suddenly launched into a song called The Navajo Trail, which he sang, verse after verse, word perfect. We'd never heard it before and he was beaming with joy after his rendition. The surprised faces of the other patients and the nurses was a treat!
Just goes to show what is stored in their long term memories.
Hi Sir A, long time no see, blimey your dad seems to have been in hospital ages now, hope he's out soon.
Are you ok though ?.

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