my hoarder mum and me

[Ankou]

anyone watch it? the gorgeous jasmine harman had me hooked.

a moving story of what appeared to be a genuine illness (disposophobia). but i really don't know how they had the patience. i would have probably dumped half the staff covertly hoping my mum didn't notice - i mean, how would she have done?

[ummmm]

What channel?

[Ankou]

it was on bbc1 last night. probably during your beauty sleep ummm.

[cazzz1975]

yes it was quite sad, I know they cleared half the stuff from 2 rooms in the end but I couldnt help but think that she will just continue to collect more to fill in the gaps and bring her back to square 1 again :/

[redcrx]

i fell asleep part way through, did the mum manage to overcome some of her hoarding? I got to point where they had just started to clear some of rooms.

[ummmm]

I wondered why I woke up beautiful....

I'll have a look now :-)

[LoftyLottie]

I found it disturbing because my late m.i.l. had the same problem. We think her problem stemmed from having a very hard life and having to flee her home country with nothing and live in a DP camp for years. She could not bear to throw things away that could come in useful, and ended up attending jumble sales, etc. and bringing home more and more stuff. Mr LL has tendencies as well. It was hellish clearing her house up when she died.

She had food stocks going back 20 years or so (seriously).

I agree the daughter was exceedingly attractive!! ;o)

[starone]

I'm a compulsive hoarder but not as bad as that! I have lots of 'might come in handies' and can nearly always produce what others need. I am gradually training myself to throw all these lovely things away, but it is very difficult. Car boot sales are the worst distraction and of course, ebay and those sales programmes on tv. Oh well!!

[LoftyLottie]

I have confined Mr LL's hoarding to the garage (a huge one) and one room in the house. I sneak things away surrupticiously, little bits at a time - but I refuse to go in the garage - it just upsets me (seriously)

[Ankou]

must admit, i hoard a little, and the garage is my domain.

but i do have cleansing sessions evey now and again and figure that if i have clung on to something for a few years and forgotten its existence or never got round to using it, then it goes in the bin or to the chairty shop. can't be doing with car boot sales.

[scotman]

I didn't watch the programme but I saw one in the Grimefighters series several years ago which was similar. It was about an old Polish? man who literally filled his house with 'stuff' to the extent that it was infested with rats and was a health and fire hazard.
Not sure if he got treatment for the condition or not as the prog was not really about him.

[LoftyLottie]

I didn't see the beginning of the programme but was their any indication of where the mother originated from and what her early life was like.

I really do think this hoarding is often link to people that have experienced extreme hardship and gone without (I mean really gone without as opposed to being just poor). The hoarding of possessions and keeping things that they may need one day takes their lives completely over - old habits die hard. Certainly the case with my MIL (and to son extent her son)

[johnk]

My wife is exactly the same, the house is full of rubbish. If any of her cronies want to get rid of anything they give it to her and she clings onto it. It causes a lot of arguments. We have sets of dishes that haven't been used in 35 years, we have 4 sewing machines in the hall that never get used. I can't get her to face the fact that all this stuff is not neccessary.

[Ankou]

her mother is cypriot, an article here will explain it more, but i don;t think there is anything rooted historically, she is just messy!

http://www.dailymail....S-real-condition.html

scotman, remember that too. he really was something else.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus

[LoftyLottie]

Our garage causes loads of arguments. I have been tempted to put a match to it (It's timber)!!

[hellywelly4]

The mother of a very dear friend of mine is just like this. She is getting old and frail and her daughter desperately wants her to come and live nearby, but she always has the excuse of the things in the house. We think the only way she will move out is sadly, when she dies or has a fall. My friend doesn't know what to do, and the excuses from her mum always begin with 'yes, but'. She loves to come and stay with her daughter who has a great circle of friends and would be there to support mum, but the answer is always an excuse in the form of not being able to face emptying her house. It's very sad and isolating for the mother.

[Ankou]

you'll have to firgive my link to the dm and the scantily clad women on the right hand side which is de rigeur for the dm (dirty men) who read the dm.

isn't janet gorgeous.

john, i think nowadays we can recognise that it is a 'condition' that has to be addressed over time. maybe watching this could help her see what damage it can do to a family. check iplayer (or repeats on the beeb)

[Ankou]

helly welly, perhaps as said by lofty it is the bain of that generation who probably had nothing and struggled to get by. in our current everyday consumerist society where you can replace most of these items with new for very little (poundland etc) it is very much an abomination.

[johnk]

Ankou, what was the progamme called?

[Ankou]

the title of this q, was the name of the programme.

[johnk]

Ankou, Thanks, I should have realised!!