Internet use

[beagle1]

The other week I discovered that my recently widowed father is looking at internet porn sites. I've checked again, and it isn't an accident. So far as I can tell, these are all 'adult' sites and do not involve children but I'm concerned that he may have a problem. He is 86. I find it quite disturbing and distasteful but am not sure quite how to deal. Any ideas?

[squarebear]

I personally would keep my nose out. What harm is he doing?

[society]

Get him some playboy magazines

[mccfluff]

what business is it of yours, if he wants to look at porn that's up to him

[B00]

Leave him alone for heavens sake!

As long as if he's not looking at anything illegal, he's not doing any harm. What I would be careful though if these sites are charging him LOTS of money to view their sites.

[ChuckFickens]

Why are you surprised that your father is interested in looking a naked women? How do you think you came to be here?

leave him too it, he's a grown man and can look at porn if he wants.

[Sqad]

///He is 86. I find it quite disturbing and distasteful ///....I agree.

Leave well alone, unless you think it may "tarnish" the rest of the family.

[redcrx]

i see your point beagle. Even thinking about sex over the age of 30 is just downright disgusting and all those doing so should be shot.

[cherrychapstick]

he is old and probably lonely ,what harm is he doing apart from the fact you have found out ! ,it is not illegal he isn't hurting anyone (maybe you) how did you find out he was looking at these sites ,you should have let it go when you first seen them instead of "checking again to make sure "

[Whickerman]

You find it distasteful, so you don't partake. Your choice. 86 is well over the age of majority so leave the man alone.
If he's using a family pc and this is showing up in the history then make sure he has his own account, password protect it, and walk away from the issue.
If he is using his own pc or already has his own account, then shame on you for snooping.

[ChuckFickens]

I've had to go round my parents house and fix my (nearly 80 yr old) Dads flash player because he was having problems watching porn and I didn't get all upset by it!

[society]

maybe seeing the nakedness brings him back 'alive' lol

[beagle1]

1. I wasn't snooping - he asked me to fix his mailbox which he was having problems with, and I googled some software and discovered the sites in the history folder.
2. I checked again because I thought it must be a mistake - he has always claimed to find it all a bit sick
3. I'm not proposing to stick my nose in, shoot him or be a pain - I'm just genuinely worried that someone who spends a lot of time looking at the stuff is going to have a distorted view of women and may get pulled into the nastier side like child porn which is illegal

[redcrx]

most men have looked at porn at some point in their lifetime. Highly unlikely that at 86 he will now suddenly find hes drawn to child pornography.

And of course hes likely to have told you he doesnt find it appealing, youre his child and this is his private life.

[brenda]

Leave him alone to do whatever, it is his life and none of your business.He is probably very lonely, after the death of his wife and these sites may bring him solace.
Much later on if you think he is still viewing , you could tactfully explain just how costly some sites are, just by way of casual conversation.
Even tho he is 86 in body, in spirit at times he may feel about 20, nothing distateful or disturbing about that in my view.

[bednobs]

1) does the google history tell you how long he's looked at it for then?
2) We find it hard to think of our parents as sexual beings, but they are!
3) Perhaps he and your mum use to look at it together?

[Whoever]

Your father recently lost a wife he has lived with for many years. He is distressed, grieving and missing her company, even if they no longer had a sexual relationship. Perhaps they still did, of a kind. Looking at a porn site may seem a strange way of him finding some kind of emotional comfort but let him have his privacy
I should think at 86 your father has already had plenty of time to define how he sees women so at this point in his life I hardly think his view is going to be distorted. He's probably unlikely now to have much contact with them, so if he wants to spend his final years enjoying some little private fantasies about a time in his life long since past, let him do it without feeling guilty or being pried upon.

[tamborine]

'MenOnly.com' is a fabulous site of fit young studs

[Mr Veritas]

I am 87 and happily married,BUT if I was widowed I would hope that none of my children would think it their business to "snoop" on me,and investigate just what websites (including) porn that I surf.
What makes you think it IS any of your business?

[Mr Veritas]

PS:~
You may make excuses but I don't think that at 86 he is going to change his views of women (either way),and if you think it will draw your Father into child pornography you obviously don't have much faith in him.
I know WHO I think has the dirty mind!

[naomi24]

^^ Quite right.