custody

[thomasclay]

my son who is eleven wants to come and live with me his dad

[naflharrison]

oh wow how do you feel about that? i have a 12 yr old step son and as much as i get on with him i dont think i could deal with him full time and to be honest my husband feels the same as much as he loves him there isnt a strong bond. do yu have a partner?

[tazmac25]

its a difficult one to advise
factors to consider
What the person with custody wants and is happy with
Does your son fully understand what it all means
Boys mature slower han girls so courts often look to a boy to be 13 even 14 before he is allowed to make the descion - sorry if this is not what you wnat to hear

My daughter aged 12 said whe wanted to live with me placed her '4' perents in order of preference with me and my other half in 1st & 2nd followed by step mothere then lastly her father and the court still decieded to leave her with him - also it was to do with a school she didnt want to be at

Get some good advice and good luck to you

PS try not to mud sling if you do end up in court

[thomasclay]

i am over the moon and so is my wife his step mother he is so down and he is now at an age where he is now understanding what his mother is really like and he has found out the truth about all the lies she has been feeding him. he says he feels stability when he visits us.

[naflharrison]

aw i am so pleased that you and your wife are happy about this. all circumstances are different and im our case my stepson has a very comfortable and quite spoilt life while he is with his mother but we had him for the holidays and he was really surprised by the amount of family time we have. our kids together are 5 and 3 so he finds it quite hard to deal with them, unfortunately he has been brought up in a selfish money orientated environment which has drastically rubbed off on him. hes a great boy and we really did feel for him when we did simple things like going to the forest for picnics etc which is a regular thing with us, we prefer to do things that dont have to cost a fortune but are fun and about us being together, his mother doesnt do anything with him and his grandparents spoil him by buying everything he wants. shame but i really hope all works out for you and you can give your son the happy content life he deserves! hurray for good dads!!!

[thomasclay]

thank you . as weekend dad we tried not to spol him as is easy ie alton towers thorpe park etc which he says is the reason of the stability, his own room etc my step children 11 and 18 are desperate for him to come as the all get on so well. but he is so frightened at the moment that his mother may find out and make his life a misery or more of a misery

[bednobs]

well she would certainly find out if he moved in with you! Could you approach the mother and say it's you that wants him as a start?