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Adopting

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taliesin238 | 22:38 Tue 17th Jun 2008 | Family & Relationships
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m 30 yars of age and I cant have childrn but i cant top thinking about adoption. Im not bothered about adipting a new born, I would like to home a child between the ages of 3-5. Does the pocess still take years to go though it all? Do you need to have a certain income coming in? Do you have to own your own house? What are the main criteria to making a good candidate? Can you also foster if you rent?

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Excuse my terrible spelling. I am typing from my sisters laptop which is positioned at a funny angle!!
If you are serious you would be better off contacting the relevant authorities. It is not a straightforward process and it is a minefield of political correctness (meanwhile 1000's of children are looking for loving families to care for them)!
You can adopt or foster. You do not have to own your home, however the process involves you being able to prove an income enough to support a child if you are adopting. Fostering pays an allowance to support the child, however you continue to work with the agency or social services throughout the time the child is with you. For children under 5 it is usually expected that you would be at home fulltime.

For either option you would be assessed by the local authority or private agency. They will want to know about your entire background from childhood, what relationships you have had with family, partners and friends. They will want to know what experience you have with children. If you don't have much, then they will expect you to become involved in local groups such as after school clubs etc.

It is quite a lengthy process and some people find it all intrusive, but at the end of the day it is the child who is the most important person in the process. A typical adoption could take as long as 12-18 months for all the assessments and introductions to take place. It can also take a number of months (upto a year) before you can be assessed to be a foster carer.

You will need to attend courses in childcare, attachment and child development. Many children who are adopted experience some emotional difficulties later in life that can be really challenging to their adoptive parents, especially if they are older. Also children who are fostered have come from difficult/abusive/deprived backgrounds and have to deal with the emotional difficulties that this brings.

It is a long haul but many people have done it and reap the rewards that this brings to their lives. Look into what is available in your local area. The authorities and agencies are crying out for people who want to do this - but it is a long haul. Nothing in life is easy when it is so important to get it right though - so take heart from that if you decide
Do not mean to be rude, but have you thought about fostering first? I think it is angels like you who make this world a better place. Moreover, if you are in the UK well done at looking at the possibilites of helping the kids in our country; as they need people like you just as much as them in the third world country..Think on you superstars..

Good luck and best wishes xx
Go for it taliesin, and the best of luck to you!
From what I've heard people say, mimie's right. It can take a good few months for anything to come to fruitition - even if you meet the required criteria, but if you love children, and think that you could meet the sometimes challenging role of either foster or adoptive mum - then you're the sort of person that those lovely kids are looking for. If more people thought like you, there'd hardly be any children in care, and I hope it works out for you. x
Sorry just re-read your post! it does not matter in the UK about your status anymore, new laws and legislations have changed this. As long as you have no convictions, and you have a home big enough to provide you will qualify. However, like a previous post qoutes, it would be wise for you to undertake a course in childcare or child psychology as this would stand you in good sted.

Moreover, before the authorites interveiw you make sure you know what you want short term, medium term and long term.

Once again good luck hun xxx
Isn't it a pity that there isn't a all this red tape for all women who have babies naturally, me included.

Maybe that would help stop children producing children and lowlifes popping them out purely for money (a la Matthews styly!)
Totally agree with that one BOO
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I do have a lot of experience with children. I am always looking after my 4 nieces and nephews and I did work experience in a pre school for children with learning disabilities for about 6 months, however this was about 10 years ago now!!
my cousin is currently on the adoption register and are going throught the process of being screened etc at the moment. It is quite laborious and intrusive (as mentioned above) and his wife has been advised to give up work in order to provide a stable home life for the child (when they get one).

They, like you, would like a young child rather than a new born and have been told that they should get one quicker than if wanting a newborn just because there are so many more children than babies in need of care.

Good luck to you, stick with it and I hope you are successful. xx
Hi taliesin,
The experience you have is a good foundation, however much has changed over the last 10 years, get some more recent experience if you can. The sooner the better, because it will work in your favour and possibly save you time in the long run!
Hi!

We adopted our daughter three years ago and from the very start to bringing her home, the whole thing took nine months. One thing that I would say is to look at other adoption agencies rather than just social services. Our agency was very small and charity funded which meant that you really got to know the case workers and they you. There was no chance of getting lost in a big bureaucratic machine and they are always there, even now, at the end of the phone for advice and support.

Yes, the process is quite intrusive and intense but don't forget that at the end of it you will hopefully have a wonderful child to love. Three years on, our daughter has still got many issues which we are working on, but I would not be without her for the world and the whole thing was definitely worth while

Good Luck!

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