How much do you tell your parents?

[warpig3]

About your financial situation, if anything at all?

I was just wondering as the other night mrwarpig was on the phone to his folks and he preceded to tell them exactely what his brother had coming in, going out, rent, bills etc. I was quite shocked and astounded as I would see this as being his brothers business and up to his brother if he wanted to divulge this information to them or not. Also it got me wondering just what exactly is he telling them about our situation.

I know all families are different and perhaps this is the norm for them but I found it rather strange. What is your take on this?

[redcrx]

Im happy to disclose certain stuff to my parents, for a start they know what i earn as we are all directors of same firm.
But even if i knew 4gets financial situation id never give out the info to my parents, thats just not my place.
Id hope that 4get would be the same

[warpig3]

Well thats what I thought too. Its not like he was saying anything that was a huge secret but still, I just don't believe it was his place. I guess what concerned me most is that fact that his parents have a tendency to blab and no doubt this info will be repeated to the brother at some point and he will be seriously p*ssed off (I know I would) as it was told to mrwarpig in confidence.

[redcrx]

perhaps the brother does the same though, telling his parents all about your finances and would think nothing of it?
Id be seriously peed if that happened to me though

[warpig3]

You know what redcrx, I bet he does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[annie0000]

I don't even tell the kids how much we earn. I asked them to guess and my 7 year old said about �200 a month - bless! As my weekly shopping bill in not far from that, I think we would be struggling! I guess some people have a more open discussion with money, but you have to wonder who else he feels it is okay to discuss salary and outgoings with? My husbands friend has told him what he earns, how much mortgage he has and what his wife earns - I have made it clear that I would not be happy if he is sharing the same info.

[warpig3]

I guess you are right annie, horses for courses and all that. I personally would feel really uncomfortable with them knowing all our 'ins and outs' (especially if they were looking a loan, lol). thanks god I didn't tell anyone about my huge lottery win!!!!!!!!

Seriously though, they would tend to be quite up front and ask questions such as - how much do you earn, what is your mortgage costing etc. I wouldn't dream of asking and to be honest, much less do I care.

[Im a BusyBee]

My husband does not even know how much i earn, no one does apart from my fellow directors.

[funnygirl]

I believe in being open with the kids as it gives them an understanding of money and how we cope with bills etc.
So my boys know how much we earn and what is paid out.
I think this is a good learning process.

[HJT40]

My dad has helped me out recently when my bank messed and my ex landlord withheld my deposit for 4 months and an extra months rent! Meaning that I did not have enough money in the bank to pay my new landlords who are also my employers. So he does know a bit, but not about any credit card bills I have etc. I am sure he would have a heart attack if he new! But I have cut up both cards and am paying them off, slowly!

I try not to discuss things in detail with him, although I am so grateful for his help, but it does make me feel as though I would be questionned if I bought anything for the house.

[warpig3]

Funnygirl, I agree that children should know the value of money and that it doesn't grow on trees only problem is, given too much information, that they have a tendency to tell their friends who in turn tell their parents then everyone knows your business.


HJT my folks have helped me out in the past too, fortunately not for anything big, just unexpected circumstances and I too was very grateful but I totally understand the feeling of being somewhat beholden, even after it was paid back.

[4getmenot]

Did I ever tell them you paid when I got locked out your flat redcrx?? :-)

[redcrx]

dont think so. Not sure we really told them what happened.

[Psychick]

Lol I can imagine theres lots you two did growing up and not dare tell your parents about!

[warpig3]

ha ha ha, ask they who drank the bottle of Bailies then chucked it out the bathroom window!!!!! Bet they blame their brother tee hee. Not to mention bribing they younger sis with toffee crisps!

[redcrx]

lol, that wasnt me warpig. 4get was usually behind stuff like that. i have a feeling she admitted to mum recently that she made little sis keep quiet about her broken arm because the 2 of them werent meant to have been out playing.

[legend758duo]

I think when you leave home and are an independant adult theres no reason or need to disclose your financial details to parents.Unless its to try to get some funds from them either by asking directly or pleading poverty and hoping for an offer.I mean youre not a kid so you should manage your finances yopurself.Im guessing most parents dont reveal their finances?

[redcrx]

i have some idea of my parent finances.

last week dad dropped his bank statement on my desk and said 'bet you wish yours looked like that?' - rotten sod!

Mind you it was looking so healthy because of a mistake made by his pension provider, still he got a lot of interest for the few days it was in there

[4getmenot]

Yes its true we did bribe her to admit it was her as mum said unless someone owned up we couldnt go to youth club, so lil sis did it and so she wasnt allowed to go so niether were rest of us. But it was bro.

[jno]

no, don't tell the kids, annie, or it'll be all round school tomorrow. But within the household we all know how much each other makes, there are always bank statements lying around (though I do try to clear them away if guests are coming), and we (parents) have joint accounts. The whole business of keeping your situation secret from your partner seems weird to me. As for my parents they never much cared, but my Mum did once say (for reasons too complicated to go into) that she'd seen the chief justice's salary in the paper that morning and wished I earned that much; I told her I did, which both cheered her up and shut her up. (NB in her country chief justices don't earn that much!)

[annie0000]

My husband and i have joint accounts, though we do pay a little amount into our own accounts so that we have money to spend on presents for each other without them knowing exactly what we paid and where we bought it. Especially as the charge can go through before the birthday or whatever.

I agree that the kids would spread it around the playground, so we did have a chat about money based on his estimate of what we earned, we had a chat about all the things that needed to be paid out of that and what we did with anything that was left and how we tried to budget to ensure that we could have meals out and things. The kids get their own "salary" from us and have to try to budget and decide what they are going to buy over the month. We had a renegotiation recently when the price of the Beano went up to 99p. An extra 50p a month was given and an extra job (matching the socks in the clean laundry) was added. Successful negotiation I thought!