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Santa Claus

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Champagne | 10:35 Wed 13th Dec 2006 | Christmas
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If Santa needs to discreetly deliver the presents on Christmas Eve, then why does he have bells on his sleigh? In fact, he often makes a terrible racket when he arrives.
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I know last year he woke me up, and because my chimney has a small vent that is in my bedroom, I could hear him all the way down their too. Maybe children are in a deeper sleep because they go to bed earlier.
I think its all to do with the reindeer stomping their hooves to keep warm on my tiled roof and Dancer tends to think he's a Michael Flatley clone and Pracer insists these days on being called Richard Arnold Jr. Between the pair of them they make a enough of a racket to drown out the sound of any sleigh bells.
Santa will bring you better presents if you sleep thru his visits and not try to stay awake to see him!!! I think you may be sleeping with one eye open so you will know when your presents have arrived!!! And you know he needs those bells so the planes will get out of his way when he is making all of his visits!!!
Thing is, Santa needs to jingle like some people need a smoke. You'll find him a very considerate bloke, though (especially if you leave a decent mince pie), and all you have do is place a notice in a prominent place on the chimney, asking him please not to jingle.

There is actually a new directive coming into force from next year which makes it illegal to sound your jingle above 98.4dB between the hours of 11.00pm and 2.00am.
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I bet some sad old Scrooge complained about the noise Santa kept making every year and that's why that new law is coming into force, saxy. Whatever next? Santa sued for gross neglect of his reindeer because he drags them out in the cold weather? Whatever is this world coming to!

p.s. Did you know that Santa is lactose intolerant, so if you leave him out milk he actually feeds it to his reindeer?

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