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dave50 | 11:01 Wed 03rd Jan 2024 | Family & Relationships
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Something on the news about them this morning. I don't  want to be judgemental and I have never been in that position but if I were, I would feel so guilty if my 11 year old child was having to care for me and I would try and move heaven and earth to ensure they didn't have to. Some of the adults seem to just accept it and let the child get on with it. Am I wrong? What do others think?



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There are thousands of young carers out there, looking after parents and siblings.  My son worked for Young Carers Scotland for a few years, supporting them and giving them a break from their daily routine.  There is, apparently, just not enough money to employ professional carers. 

It was an area exposed more so during the covid crisis, if I remember government said it needed looking at, looking is all they've done by the looks of it. No child should should have such pressure on their shoulders.

The parents probably have little sway regarding the situation. Not everyone has the money to hire 24hr/day personal help.

i have a dog in this fight: my 11 yo is classified as my young carer i try to ask her for help as little as posible, but it's just not feasible to have someone in my house 24 hrs a day should i need someone to help me get my cardigan on, do my shoe up or open the dishwasher (all of which i can't normally do).

yes it's crapola both for her and for me, and i think the emotions around it are complex on both sides: she often wants to help.  I always feel guilty

I feel for you, bednobs.  It is a dreadful feeling to be dependent on others but don't feel guilty. It is beyond your control. 


easy to say barry, harder to do.

we went to WB studio tour the other day.  She really wanted to push the wheelchair, so i let her.  It was awful, and it felt like everyone was watching and silently judging!  every time i went off on my own, she came to find me and tell me off!

//I don't  want to be judgemental //

But will anyway!

Perhaps read what bednobs has said and then come back with a way it can be fixed!

i guess if it were something temporary, it might be easier to arrange help/cover, but with ongoing illnesses/disabilities it's very much harder.  As i said, feelings on both sides tend to be complex

Some of these parents have the worry that their children will be put in to care if they ask for more help because they can't cope.

It is a sad situation for a single parent with very little or no support from other family members.

ps i'm perfectly happy for others to have different opinions on the subject - i expect i would too if i werent experiencing it

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Thank you for the insight bednobs,must be heartbreaking for, maybe I was naive and too simplistic in my opinions and I do apologise. 

there is absolutely no need for an apology dave, people are allowed to express differing opinions :)

as i said, i may well feel like you in different circumstances

dave, I think most people who have no experience of providing or needing care thinks the same way you do, so no need to apologise.  There should be a better way, but there really isn't for the majority in that situation.  Those with the money to pay can choose to but those who are unable to work because of their illness or disability rely on the state monies and it is nowhere near enough to pay for in home care 24/7.  

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