Kids

[kylesmum]

What do you do when your child lets you down for the first time?, she is 11, she is lieing.

[sherrardk]

Explain to her how upset she has made you and ask her why she felt the need to lie? If she has been so good until now she may respond to you taking an adult approach to the situation rather than shouting or punishing her?

[kylesmum]

She has tried to make out that someone else has been using her phone, this is why she is out of minutes.

we had a big chat this time last month about the same thing and being responsable, I wonder if I have over estimated her, she is only 11.

[kylesmum]

but thank you for your answer, I will bear it in mind

[sherrardk]

My eldest is ten and shouting, etc makes no difference (not that vectors a lot wrong). It's difficulttvwhen you are used to them being so good.

[kylesmum]

you are so right, I feel so let down.

[Sqad]

Are you trying to make us believe that this is the first time that she has lied aged 11.

Nah! I dont believe it.

What I would have done is now illegal and socially unacceptable, but luckily there will be a string of replies which will be mainly useless, but politically correct.

[sophie_1003]

If you've already had the chat take the phone away or don't offer to top it up until you would normally anyway. Then start afresh next time.

[sherrardk]

Sorry for the mistakes in my answers - I am using my phone!

[chelle7272]

Yes I agree with Sophie, if she has already been spoken to about it then you need to take the next steps anbd take the facility away from her until she appreciates it.

[kylesmum]

thanks Sophie, I have confiscated the phone.

[kylesmum]

lol, it is ok, thank you chelle.

[karenmac60]

I would explain to her about trust - that she's getting older and will want to do more things where you will have to be able to trust her. If she is going to lie to you then you won't be able to trust her and she won't be allowed to do the same things as her friends. And let her know that you are disappointed in her.

[society]

I'd ask her why the need to lie, if she doesn't trust you, or is she scared of you.

[B00]

"I'd ask her why the need to lie,"

Because she'll soon be a teen, they al lie! The need to lie becomes second nature, and sometimes it'll be the only time they're coherant- every other time they communicate will be by grunts.

[B00]

oh, and the grunting is only heard for about half hour in any 24 hour period, the other 23 n half hours are spent snoring in their pits.

[ummmm]

It's a white lie....it's not a biggy.

[kylesmum]

hello ummmmm, I like your name!, it isn't a white lie, she has told me that her dad was using her spare minutes cause he was out of credit so I challenged him, he has told me she is fibbing, it was a proper lie, could have caused a lot of tension between me and my ex.

My thanks to Karen, I used your point, thanks to Boo for making me smile when I didn't feel like smiling and to everyone who tried to help me.

[annie0000]

Can you be sure he is telling the truth?

[Ice.Maiden]

Never accuse a child of anything until you're sure of the facts. If she isn't lying, she'll lose trust in you.
If she IS lying - it's not such a big deal - but you need to be able to talk calmly to her and tell her to be responsible with her phone. They never listen, but if you're honest and open with her and don't fly off the handle, she won't need to lie about anything.