Raising Kids

[Notveryhappy]

Is rasing a 2 and half year old and newborn as hard as people are making out?

[craft1948]

Well my nan managed with 3 sets of twins...........

[starone]

Raising kids of any age has its difficulties, you will need a great deal of patience and love. If you have those in abundance you will cope with anything.

[woofgang]

oh it so depends...I don't want to answer this because I have no kids myself and think that abortion is a very sad thing to do...so not the best person to ask. What I can suggest that you do is sit down and make a list of what your practical worries are and then whether there are whole or part solutions..that might help you to sort things out in your own mind.
I wil keep you in my thoughts and prayers

[cazzz1975]

sounds a pretty normal age gap, most kids are pretty much the same in terms of care needed, sometimes its the adults that have to question their coping skills rather than the kids being seen as difficult/hard work.

[woofgang]

I think this lady has posted before...has family problems and likely to be a single Mum not by choice when the second babe is born.

[cazzz1975]

I thought this was the lady who had a man, a child, a house and a job??

[Notveryhappy]

Good point cazzzz

I really don't want to get rid of the baby, but feel pressure from everyone around me telling me it's going to be so hard etc..

[cazzz1975]

you make the choice for your family, if child rearing was so difficult most people would stop at 2 children (obviously realising that having a second child made life utter hell ;) )

[Notveryhappy]

And yes, I do have all these things and thanks my lucky stars everyday for my daughter and the lovely things I have.

it doesn't make this decision any easier though, or make it right to have another child.

Just because i wasn't raped or the baby wasn't concieved through another horrible act, again doesn't make this choice any easier.

It's the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

And yes, I did use contraception.

Thanks

[starone]

Of course it's going to be hard. Life is always hard. You must decide yourself what you want to do. Sounds to me as if you might find it a struggle as on your other thread you said your partner might leave. In which case you will be alone bringing up the two children. You know what you are like Make a decision on whether you will be able to cope with two children on your own.

[andy-hughes]

People love to scare-monger with other people, it's human nature.

Child-rearing is never easy, but it can be easier, depending on your circumstances.

look at it this way - you stay in with one baby, no problem staying in with two.

Once they are of a certain age, they can be fed, bathed, dressed and put to bed at the same times - so it's not 'baby routine times two' as you might be imagining.

Hope this helps.

[funnygirl]

I find young girls the generation today who are having kids find it much harder to cope
that women of my generation.

[Notveryhappy]

My mum is making me feel a bit bad by saying things like "You could have done better with your life" and "why have another?"

Things like this that are convincing me that having an abortion is best.

I know she only wants what's best for me. Plus she has said that if i'm happy, then she is.

But she doesn't think i'd cope just I'm impatient. I'm fine with the beautiful little daughter I have, but she thinks another would be too much.

But I look at my daughter and know that this is what this baby would be like and then regret it forever.

I'm so bloody confused!!

[cazzz1975]

I would hate it if my mom undermined my ability to raise a child!

[zzxxee]

did you consider what i suggested in your last post about booking a g.p appointment and talking things through with a councillor ?

[Notveryhappy]

She thinks i'm a good Mum, she just doesn't want me to struggle.

Honestly, i know how that sounded, but she'd never say that as she always says i'm a good Mum to my girl, which I know I am.

We are very close, which is why her opinion means so much to me.

[Notveryhappy]

I have docs in morning

[ljdksa]

Don't let ANYONE pressure you. I'm sure your mum is trying to look out for you, but it is your choice. My first two were 22 months apart and then I had another 16 months later. I loved it and found, that, as Andy said - you've adapted to life with one (staying in, needing babysitters etc) so two won't be a lot different. I found it easier as they got a bit bigger that they had someone to play with too.
I may be wrong, but I feel you are leaning towards keeping the baby, but it is other people's "advice" that is giving you doubts? I certainly can't put words in your mouth. But are you 50/50, 80/20 etc? What are your worries specifically?