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Trying To Get Close To My Mum!!

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puddicat | 19:41 Thu 26th Feb 2009 | Family Life
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Do you find it difficult like me??sometimes feel we are getting closer and other days feel really estranged from her!!!
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i kinda know how u feel, i have never had a close relationship with my mum, no reason why,

when i see people hugging and kissing their mums its weird to me as i never ever do that, ever! i dont remember as a child ever being close.

i'm the opposite with my daughter tho, which may be a refection on my childhood i guess, we are extremely close, cuddle up all the time, everyday we have loads of cuddles and kisses.

i guess its as bothering you tho maybe talk to her about it?
do you have a lot in common?

its weird coz when you have family you kinda automatically love them no matter what but sometimes you can have nothing in common and be totally different, do you have a lot in common?

maybe start a new hobby together see if it brings you closer

good luck xx
hi puddicat i have the same problem ive never been close to my mum and to be honest i dont know why but i suppose its always been that as long as i can remember. However the relationship my sister has with her is the complete opposite, there like best friends and do everything together. I used to feel really left out by it all but now ive accepted the situation, and just get on with things. Dont get me wrong i love my mum but we just dont click {i know that sounds awful}. As with onlyme26 im the opposite with my kids, im always kissing them and telling them how much i love them. If its really getting to you talk to your mum and suggest doing something you both enjoy on set nights of the week or something.
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Sadly guys my mum doesnt seem to have any hobbies apart from the telly she locks herself up in her ivory tower and thats her world!!!
I've had a somewhat tempestuous relationship with my mother over the years, largely due to the fact that she was only 18 when she had me. We are more alike than either of us care to admit. We now get on Ok, but we're more like buddies.

I would do anything for her, but I never feel that I can confide in her, so there will always be a fundamental link missing in our relationship.

Does your mother always seem disapproving, Puddi?
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Not so much,but tends to ramble on about neighbours and not what i am trying to tell her,she diverts away from my conversation!!!
My mum asks a question but never likes the answer! The other day, I had a mild asthma attack late at night, and without an inhaler to hand, I had to go to my friend's house and pinch some of his. She asked what had brought on the attack, and I replied, "Sitting next to you and your cigarette!"

She hit the roof and asked, sarcastically, if I would like her to go outside and smoke from now on. I can't win!

I know where you're coming from. X
I've never bonded with my Mum although she did try. She doesn't any more though. It was always me and my Dad and my Mum and my sister.
puddicat... the only piece of advice I can give is... don't give up!

I was never close to my Dad... wasted years avoiding the issue... we just started to 'build bridges' and then he suddenly dropped dead!
What brought me closer to my Mum was staying with her for a few days a couple of times a year and in fact entering her world (we were also on the phone nearly every day). We both liked the same kind of books too so could talk about them. In fact, my mother became more tolerant about things once she started reading novels. Sadly, she's no longer here but I'm so glad we did have a close relationship at the end.

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