dating while still co-habiting.

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mydogsandme | 17:54 Wed 07th Jan 2009 | Relationships & Dating
11 Answers
I'd like guys opinions in particular about this one. After recently splitting with my husband of many years we will still be living in the same house for this year until the housing market picks up and we can afford to sell. I just can't afford anything now an dneed to find a job with more ours and better pay too. We have an amicable seperation-he has started seeing someone else,we certainly don't have sex and won't get back together. My question is-would this situation be a complete no-no to all you men? I'm not looking to date anyway in the near future and next year I plan to have my own place somehow but wouldn't be surprised if men would run a mile anyway knowing I'm still living in the same house.Would any of you date a woman in this situation and wait for things to change or not? This is purely financial and not because we may work things out.


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I did this after me and my husband separated. We lived together for 13 months (worst 13 months of my life, I can tell you).

However, in that time, both of us saw others. Neither of us took anyone back to the house and I found that as long as I was completely honest and straight up no one had a problem with the situation.
As a man, I wouldn't have a problem with that situation. Mind you, I might not feel too comfortable going to yours if your ex was around at the same time.

As all is amicable, why not agree that there will be some nights when each of you have the place to yourself ? Of course as you aren't dating or planning to date in the near future, you might want to keep that idea in reserve for when you need it rather than suggesting it right now !
hands up.. (and as a woman reversing said roles!) I wouldn't want to go back to a man's house knowing his wife was around. that leaves going out all the time or being at my house.. not ideal.

also, recent splitter-uppers often reconcile. I'm not suggesting you will, but if I was a new partner I would be wary..

if you want to date, I think you have to try to move on from this situation.
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hi sara and everyone-that's one of the reason's I won't want to date-that and really I have too much to think of right now and would like some "me" time. Apart from living in a cardboard box this is the situation right now and it's not as if we're living in such hell that would be preferable. Who can sell a house now? It's only a modest house anyway and half of that is very little as it is. Plus this year will give me more time to get clued up to living alone which I've never done and hopefully earn a bit of money.
I know it probably all looks a bit bleak, but look forward and be excited about your future. treat it as an adventure.

living on your own can be a bit crappy sometimes, but mostly it's a period of discovery and re-invention. you'll do fine :o)
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hi noknowledge-wondered when you'd appear. Well,I'm late forties but still have the body of a 30 year old (!) I could give you a run for your money anyway.
Depends on the guy really.

I could see it being a problem if the person you start dating is insecure, yeah that may cause a problem.

If he is "normal" then I cant see it being a problem as long as your honest.

Have some you time first though : )
I have to agree with Sara, I'd feel uncomfortable going back to his place and the wife being there. That's worse than meeting the parents LOL.
As it�s amicable between you and he is seeing someone, if you do happen to meet someone can you come to arrangement with your ex that when he stays with them you can have the house and vice versa?

As for someone being OK with you living with your ex, if you�re honest with him from the off I don't see why not. I think there will be loads of people in your situation in the next few years so you won't be alone.
While it's not ideal I don't see that you have much choice in the current financial climate. It won't last forever and you'll both benifit from not spending any extra cash. I get on alright with my ex's bloke not that we'll be going to the pub together any time soon.
To answer your question yes I think I would date a woman in this situation as long as it was up front and not sprung on me when I went round as in " I don't know if youv'e met my Ex he lives here as well"

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