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depression, stress or anxiety?

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mimi-moomoo | 19:18 Thu 28th Aug 2008 | Body & Soul
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This is so hard to explain in a way that makes sense. About 3 or 4 weeks ago I began having sort of panic attacks whenever I thought about my future i.e. work or leaving home. I don't know what brought this on but can only think it's nostalgia (I had a great holiday a few weeks back). I'm due to start my final year at secondary school in 5 days and for the first time I'm extremely nervous; I think it's the idea of growing up, time going really fast and a heavy workload. I no longer know what I want to be when I'm older or how I'm going to live my life. I try talking to my friends but they seem to be stressing me out even more. I don't want to speak to them or see them most of the time because it seems like they're all changing, growing up. My life just feels so boring and my self esteem is non existent. I feel sick a lot of the time and find it impossible to focus on anything. I've broke down in front of my parents twice now and my mum has been so supportive; I've tried kalms, evening primrose oil and rescue remedy but nothing seems to be working and my mum said she really doesn't want to take me to the doctors because she knows they will recommend antidepressants nor do we have the money to visit a therapist. I feel absolutely useless and if I didn't have any idea of how it would effect the people I know, I'm sure I would've considered suicide. To say this is uncharacteristic is a massive understatement. Please, I'm at my wits' end and I'm begging anyone for help. x
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Your feelings are not uncommon, and that isn't to belittle them in anyway. What you havent done and MUSt not do is to bottle it all up or keep it to yourself. You have told your family so good for you.
Is there some one outside the family you could also talk to like a school counsellor?
I think you should go and see your GP. there is no shame in taking medication to take you through a bad patch. YOur GP may well be able to put you in touch with other support services. And you dont have to pay for therapy through your doctor.
I agree with Rosetta mimi, take care xxx
Question Author
Thank you Rosetta. I really do want to see my doctor but can't bare how guilty I'll feel about my mum; it can't be good for her to know that her daughter is only happy because she's on drugs. I've tried waiting until school starts but I'm getting worse every day now.
If this is something you just can't handle and pull through, then it is a clinical matter, so it would be best to at least go and see your GP. Nip this problem in the bud - don't let it fester and catch up on you in later life. Do not worry about medication or psychiatric help - it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Take care.
Please please go to your GP.

Anti-depressants are there for a purpose -there are so many to treat differing symptons.
I agree -get it nipped in the bud now -they will give you a respite and you will gain your confidence again.
Its tough at your age -my son went through a similar phase but he started panicking when he was actualluy in an exam -thankfully-as he didnt know then what was happeneing he put it down to the heat so he did manage to finish his exam.
Because he didnt seek help in secondary -when he was Uni -the same thing happened -its obviously stress -he had to go to his year tutor and he was magnifiecent in talking it through with him and when you know youre not alone then that makes you feel better almost instantly.

He graduated with Hons 2 yrs back and is working -so you have to address it.We didnt- but it seems that yours has begun to take a hold a bit before the crucial periods where you would expect anxiety.

I feel you have to talk to someone -if you cant really talk to your mum then phone ChildLine -its not just for'kids' -its there for a reason and they may point you in the right direction.

I know you wont believe me when i say it but you will get there hun -you have a wonderful life in front of you -please trust people and then you can learn to embrace and enjoy your life it again.

Trust me xxxx

Now keep us posted -d'ya hear xx
Mimi, there are people out there to support and help you. You are going through a period of change and that can be scary. Your mum sounds lovely and is there for you but sometimes you need support from outside the home.
Go and see your GP. even if you are prescribed medication , (and the doctor may suggest other things first) it does mean that you will be on it forever or that it will turn you into a mindless zombie. If you like you could show thisthread to your mum.
Let us know how you go on wont you . Take care
I would be extremely surprised if you were prescribed drugs for this.

This sounds like perfectly normal behaviour for a girl your age facing changes outside - school, friends, worries about the future; and changes inside - your hormones and developing body.

You are still very much a child but your body is that of a young woman, and the time is approaching when huge changes and stresses are on the horizon - no doubt you'll be sitting exams next year, thinking about college and work, maybe university.

All this is a lot to bear. I promise you once you are settled back at school you will start to feel so much better in yourself.
Talk to your mum and other relatives, and accept that you are having a rough time now but it doesn't last.

Don't try and sort the rest of your life out NOW - do it in little steps. First step - go to school next week. Try not to worry about everything else.

Question Author
Thanks everyone for your answers, I'm going to take it easy for a while, I think I can stay calm until monday and if I don't feel better I will definately go and see a doctor
xx mimi
Let us know mimi how you get on! xxx
Hi Mimi
Don't feel embrassased about seeing your GP they may not put you on medication but may look at an alernative course of treatment, your recognising that you have an issue and its crucial you address it now before it escalates. Remember depression stress and anxiety can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain - which is out of your control. The medication if your put on it will help re- address this.
Your going through an important time in your life and like us all we all need some support every now and again. Has your school got a Connexions worker? you can make contact with them outside of school, they'll be able to support you with planning for the future and can refer you on to an agency for other support such as counselling. Look on connexions direct website.
Mimi remember its ok if you don't know now what you want to do for the rest of your life, you've plenty of time to research and decide, you could go travelling to help make your mind up and even do voluntary work. If you have to make subject choices go for what you enjoy and are good at.
Good luck mimi - by coming on answer bank and asking for help is the 1st step of acknowledging you need support. GIve yourself credit for that.
Can I recommend a book for you? It's called Blame my Brain by Nicola Morgan and it explains the changes going on in your brain at this stage in your life and how to deal with them. I work in a library and have given this to toher teenagers who were becoming increasingly anxious as they got older and it seemed to help.

http://nicolamorgan.co.uk/brain.php

Good luck x
i agree with ethel its unlikely you will be perscibed anti depressants. Perhaps it woul be useful to join some youth club groups to help reduce your anxiety and increase your confidence more. If there is not a trusted adult to talk to perhaps you could talk to a counsellor at school you will get throught this, be patient and good to yourself. There are always people ther to help good luck
hi moo

im a 38 yr old guy but i go through exactly the same thing that you do. it started when i was doing my A levels and i lost all confidence thinking i had no chance of passing them. i tried to leave college but the teachers helped me through it and i eventually passed them with flying colours.
every now and again i have a little wobble and cant think straight for worrying so much, cant sleep and then cant eat because i make myself feel so sick, is awful, feels like im on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
its usually triggered off my having to make an important decision that could change the course of my life (or so i think) like changing careers or relationship problems.
i get around it by ducking out of making decisions and always taking the safe option. thats unfortunately always held me back in life and stopped me fulfilling my potential which is something you must not do.
go and see your teachers, see your doctor, see a therapist, get all the help on offer to get over what is a crisis of confidence, dont do what i do and bury your head in the sand.

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