Man beater?

[topogigo]

My wife, repeatedly hit me with a variety of objects shoes, fists, just anything to hand, over a period of 21years. I am twice the size of her and i was a judo instructor for 14 years. More than capable of inflicting serious injury on her, i never lifted my hand to her as i needed to stay with my son who was disabled, although she clearly deserved it., if i had hit her she would have gone to the police and etc. etc.
I went to a social worker friend to ask for some kind of help she said that my son would be taken from both of us if violence was detected in the home.
There are no mens refuges for battered men, men have scant chance of getting custody after a divorce and women, adulterers such as my ex even, will get 70% of the mans possesions and assets.
My advice to any men in this position is to get out as soon as you see the signs that your woman is a nutter build a home that your kids can share with you, and the first chance you get give her a ***** of the ***!
Truthfully if she hasn't poisoned their minds too badly, your kids will come to you when they realise what has gone on. Both my boys are with me, and are extremely angry with their drunken violent slag of a mother, so there you are!
I suppose i beat her in the end anyway!!

[topogigo]

I remember when my son was 8 thinking i have another 10 years to wait till i can leave. His age was irrelevant really, it was just so i could make a countdown in my mind.
Do you know that i have only just, 4 years later stopped sleeping with my arm across my face, lest she punch me or elbow me when i am asleep.
Go on someone have a go at me for that and tell me i should be a man and that i am controlling.

[MrBen5]

Topigo, what makes me a freak? the fact that i say something you dont want to hear?
Lets face it from the info you have given so far:-

1. My wife hit me with all sorts of things,not just once but for 21 years. (you never said why it has carried on for so long)
2. I am twice the size of my wife and a judo instructor and am well hard, but never hit her back (that says to me your a control freak)
3. i am more than capable of inflicting serious injury, but i have a disabled son (that says if you didnt have a disabled son you would have hit her)
4. i went to a social worker friend for advice (some friend? if that was a genuine social worker your kids would have been taken off you)
I dont even wanna go on cos i could go on all night...

[topogigo]

If anyone thinks then, that i should have chatted to her, just remember you can't reason with unreasonable people.
Poor girl she must have been so stressed it must have been me, or perhaps one of her boyfriends?

[dove]

hey topogigo,

i am waiting on your next post, My thoughts are so with you.
Im on your side x

[joko]

Have you guys heard yourselves?

All this macho ''i am man, hear me roar'' garbage!

It might surprise you to know that most women are not weaklings and can deliver a punch enough to break your nose or worse ...

why is there this ''Oh ho, a woman punching is laughable" crap...?

I was once attacked by an ex - I floored him then kicked the crap out of him...I guarantee it was not 'laughable'

How sad that a mans expression of hurt at being attacked is greeted with tough guy smugness.


topo, i think you should have hit her back - not battered her , but just shocked her into stopping, or warned her that next time you would retaliate.
also why didn't you just restrain her? if you are twice her size, surely you could have.

[Coobeastie]

Mrben besides the fact that the woman might be physically strong has it ever occurred to you that she might not just use her fists.....

[topogigo]

Did i mention i am a carpenter Mr ben5? Perhaps it was a good thing else you would have accused me of wanting to saw her head off , and you have just taken over at freak headquarters, whatever you think!
And don't paraphrase me either!

[MrBen5]

Topogigo, i dont think anyone is having a go at you for being hit by a woman. It does happen and a lot.
Its nothing to be ashamed of.
I can sense your a little embarrassed saying this on here, but its better to get other peoples opinions.
I am sorry if i sound a bit harsh, but i am just going off how i read it on here.
You have obviously been through a lot of hurt and pain and will probably never get over it, but try not to be so bitter.
It seems you have your new life now, make the most of it.
Not many people get out of abusive relationships and i am sure there are some on here reading this who are suffering from something similar...

[dove]

leaving this thread and apologies to all for trying to be heard...........................



















NOT!

[annie0000]

I am glad that you are finally free of the violence topo - I can't understand people's reactions here. If you were a women there would be all sorts of sympathy and understanding about your situation. They would never say to a women "why did you not just hit him back". Domestic violence is not just a physical thing, it cant effect your self esteem and your ability to think rationally. i am not going to say good for you for not hitting back, I am simply going to say that well done for getting through this and being open enough to get it of your chest. Hope that you can put it behind you and try not to feel bitter as that is only allowing them to continue to control your life.

[MrBen5]

So topogigo are you gonna say how it all started?

[MrBen5]

Well said annie...

[RATTER15]

I was also physically attacked by my EX wife, I suffered many cuts and bruises as a result of things being thrown or punched.
I found the problem with being attacked by a Woman is how to you defend yourself without causing her harm, if I had hurt her I couldn't have lived with myself. Believe me it is a really traumatic thing to go through for a male or a female, I do understand how it can be worse for a woman being abused because as men we can actually defend our self but choose to limit our defence in fear of harming our wife!!!

Its all well and good saying that if she gets hurt it is their own fault but until you have been there it is very difficult to judge.

I can at least say that I never harmed my Ex wife and like you topogigo, I beat her by walking out!!

[annie0000]

Don't understand why you are agreeing with mr ben - you were questioning why he didn't just hit her back.

[bednobs]

this post has really interested me

[MrBen5]

I never said he should hit her back.
I think its disgraceful blokes hitting women...

[chompu]

Know where you are coming from, topogigo. You have my understanding and sympathy.

Mr Ben
I find it difficult to understand your posts. I understand the words but not the reasoning. How the hell do you accuse him of being a control freak because he didn't stike back? Don't bother answering I think we're on different planets.

[MrBen5]

Huh, what you talking about? i never said he should hit her back?????
I said he seemed a control freak for bragging about being a judo master for 14 years and twice her size and him being able to infict her serious injury to her.
If that isnt a control freak then i am sorry.
Read the full post chompu and get off your planet...

[smudge]

Well done on leaving your abusive wife topogigo.

It must have been a terrible life for you & your sons, but at least they understand & love you enough to want to be with you now. Take care & good luck to you all.

P.S. Any kind of abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, is wrong & shouldn't be tolerated, although as has been shown here, isn't always easy to get out of, 'specially where children are involved.....

[Goodsoulette]

The beating or the seriousness of the beating isn't the point. Abuse is abuse. It wears you down and makes you feel like crap. They make you feel worthless. I never fought back because he was easily 3 times stronger than me. Already mentioned on here today, sorry to bang on and I dont want to be made out to be a liar cos I seem bitter about it, but I suffered broken bones and not being permittes to breath and the worse thing I ever suffered was...wait fr it.... being shouted out and verbally abused in the middle of LAura Ashley, or the high street, of course people were thinking he was a c0ck but I genuinely believed at the time it was me. Mental abuse can reach inside us all and by virtue on the fact she wanted to attack him, he was abused just as badly as me.