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johnjo | 20:50 Mon 16th Jul 2001 | Body & Soul
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What is more beneficial to a child in the long run - being an easy-going or a very strict parent?
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I think the art to being a good parent is knowing where to draw the line. If you're too strict, you could end up pushing your kids away and them resenting you. If you're too easygoing they may think they can do what they want and end up in trouble. I think you need to make them aware that you are there for them as a parent and as a friend so that they can turn to you for anything.
Surely the best approach to take is the one you feel happiest with yourself. Your child will detect it if you are being stern or easy going when you don't believe yourself in what you are saying. If you are naturally a relaxed person then be laid back with your child, and vice versa. Your child is likely to take after you to some degree and will probably respond to such things in the same way you do. Of course my wife tends to be stricter and may disagree...
The two most important things to remember when raising your children are - consistency and love. If you provide them with a lot of both of those very important aspects of life, they will be fine.
The essential fact to remember about children is - they are as naughty as they are allowed to be. All children like to find out where the lines are, and the best way to find if a line is there, is to cross it now and again. The method of crossing, and the distance crossed, depends on the child and the parent. I always used the same approach with my three girls - be nice, I'll be nice, be nasty, I might be nastier! It did work, although they are all different, and required varying degrees of discipline from almost none at all - raised eyebrows being enough, to some pretty heavy tactics, grounding etc, but they've all turned out OK in the end. Remember, our children don't 'belong' to us, they're just lent to us for a short time, so make the most of it!
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