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'Seeing' this bloke

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xJx | 14:45 Fri 07th Jul 2006 | Body & Soul
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i have written in previously regardin this bloke i was seeing. in a post a few weeks ago i told how he had texted sayin he saw it as a sexual thing but was liking me more and more recently. since then we have been away for another night together, stayed at each others house and met each others parents. we have even booked a weeks holiday at the end of this month (his idea!). Yet nothin is moving forwards with regard to starting a relationship. He does have a child and beforehand was constantly arguing with his ex and her family but now it seems that him and the ex are gettin on better. Whether this is because of the baby or because they are sorting out their differences I'm not sure but I always knew that she would still be on the scene because they have a child. We met up last Tuesday and also Wednesday, again both initiated by him. We went to grab some dinner but even then we had to walk seperate in case anyone saw us and told his ex. I get the impression this is in case it jeopordises his access to the child but I'm not entirely sure. Ever since Weds he has been a bit distant and when I asked why he insisted he hasn't been but he is very busy at work. I go away tomorrow so he is ringin me later tonight. What should I do? I dont want to ask him what the score is because I dont want to scare him off but the mixed signals are all over the place. One min we are cuddling up to one enough and he is tellin me he would hate it if i got with anyone else plus we are plannin our holiday away together and the next I dont speak 2 him properly for a few days at a time but see his gf email address on the emails that he forwards me. Help!
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Not sure here xJx... I have to say that if it was me I'd play my cards close to my chest and keep cool about it. You say you're going away tomorrow so personally I think that I would just have a light, breezy fun conversation tonight as you don't want to spend your whole holiday wondering if you said all the right things. Also it might be a really good time while you're on holiday and more seperate from the situation to have a really good think about what you want and whether or not you're getting that from this relationship... hard I know but sometimes you have to try and put yourself outside of the situation.

You say that nothing is moving forwards in this relationship but the fact that you've met each others parents, stayed at each others houses and are planing a holiday together are all signs that it is moving forwards... it just might not be moving forwards at the pace you want it to!

I honestly think that you need to kick back and take this at a more measured pace and enjoy what you have now as it seems to me that you might be trying to rush the best bits where you get to know each other and your intimacy gets deeper.

I really hope it all works out for you xx
Not sure what his intentions are but "even then we had to walk seperate in case anyone saw us" er NO WAY! I would never be with a guy who made me walk away from him, what a bloody cheek. If he is really finished with this woman then it's none of her damn business.
Be very wary of the situation he may be keeping you in the background just in case things get sorted with the ex, on the other hand he may be realy scared of getting hurt.

Don't push him, give yourself a set amount of time say 2 month and if things are still moving at a snails pace, review how you feel and seriously consider looking for someone who will give you the love and respect you deserve, good luck :0)
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thanks guys iv never looked it things in that way and didnt even think about the fact that we have met each parents and are going away together for a week as a step up. i think ill just go with the flow, although that is very hard for me cuz im not the laid back type. im looking forward to our week away and guess that will be the big decided because spending that much time together is a big commitment and will shed some light into where things are going. as im going away tomorrow for a week he just rung and said he will ring tomorrow morning to say goodbye for the week so i guess thats good because he is thinkin about me. thanks for the advice x

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