How Often Do You Have Sex?

jd_1984 | 11:54 Wed 18th Jun 2014 | Body & Soul

116 Answers

This is a serious question which is why I havent put it in Chatterbank, which would likely encourage humorous replies!!
But, as a newly married man I am not sure whether we are being intimate frequntly enough. I realise circumstances will play a huge part in marital relationships but we are probably being intimate around 2-4 times a month (not including kissing and that type of affection)
As a younger man, in less serious and more casual relationships, I was going at it a hell of a lot more. But, I question whether we are in a rut, so soon into married life!!!

Burst Blood Vessel

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rockyracoon

Best Answer

Some might say you have Post Wedding Depression (I kid you not), all the fun build up to the wedding and holiday then back down to reality. Now you've made sex an elephant in the room you need to address it by talking, and honestly saying how you expect your sex life to be. We have runs of very regular sex then it might be 2 or 3 weeks before we do it again, and as Ummmm...

13:16 Wed 18th Jun 2014

Go To Best Answer

WELSHYORKIE

jd - use the tv to your advantage - put on a raunchy dvd (or to put it another way a porn film) and see if that gets you both 'going'. I don't worry about the number of times we are intimate, I am more concerned with the quality - better to have made love that you both enjoy than just had a quick shag - although having said that, there are time when a quickie is just as satisfying.......... just my opinion, of course

andres

Three years and a bit married is not exactly 'newly wed'!!You are out of the honeymoon stage now. Give over being so calculating and serious about your sex life and things might improve. You don't have to be at it like rabbits all the time . You say that you have a good relationship with your wife. Try switching the television off and cuddle up more , it might lead on to sex. I don't think one weekend away is going to do much good . Stop worrying so much.

ChillDoubt

Some medication can affect your libido or lack of it!
----------------------------
That's right.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!

Seriously, the weekend away you've planned is a good idea but insist on no TV in the room and leave the mobiles, PDA's, iPads etc at home.
You need to properly engage each other in some meaningful conversation during the weekend.

viv38

Like folk are saying on here - what is 'normal' anyway? It varies for everyone.

ummmm

Try it at a different time of day....children permitting.

knowabit

I read somewhere once that 85% of women have NO sex drive, and 95% of men DO... there's the problem! Lol

ummmm

85%...that has to be a joke.

jno

I think that may be a joke rather than a statistic, knowabit.

Really it's down not only to what you want but to what your wife wants too. How bothered is she by this? Libidos seldom match up perfectly, so there's almost always a need for some give and take, but the big thing is whether you're happy as a couple. Are you? If you are, then you can work something out.

WELSHYORKIE

Different time of the day - different rooms - different positions - even in the great outdoors etc etc - but please, not while she's bending over the freezers in Tescos

tamborine

Tart yourself to perfection, take her out for dinner & drinks then straight to bed for action ;)

jd_1984

Question Author

Good advice so thank you.
It seems daft to bring it up. A very personal issue which varies from couple to couple. Some reassurance that is isnt abnormal is comforting.
I love her to bits and am still extremely attracted to her, it seems crazy that we are not doing it more and yet, we are in this rut!
I will take some positive action. I would say I will keep you updated, but I wont start a sex blog on here, thanks again1

WELSHYORKIE

'but I wont start a sex blog on here' - shame, it's always nice to see a project through to completion, I've always found.......

Mamyalynne

As you have seen from the many varied replies, there is no norm, or if there is , it is either personal or perceived.

The truth is that once we start to over analyse any part of our lives it builds a barrier - trick is to relax and gradually regain some spontaneity (family situation allowing).