Gay Man At The Gym...... Continued....

[jd_1984]

Enter Further Question Details Here...http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1263920.html

You may recall the above post from last week.
Well, this guy again was looking at me in the changing rooms, not just a passing glance, a sustained stare!! I had seen him a couple of times since the first incident but we were at opposite ends of the changing room. However this morning, we had adjacent lockers. I had to make a point of it.
My almost exact words were "Listen, I am a reasonable guy with no prejudices, but its very obvious that you are looking at me whilst I change, and without falling out with you, I am asking you politely to not stare at me as I feel awkward getting changed near you"

His response "Oh my dont flatter yourself" and with that made what can only be described as a"HUFF" and walked off.

I could feel a mixture of embarrassment mixed with overwhelming anger and I know that I am in the right to mention this to him. I repeated (a little louder and not as polite) "I am being serious, I dont want to have to talk about this again, look at me again and we will have trouble"

So, now, other men are starting to look over at the straight guy shouting at the gay guy......

Please tell me if it is me that is over reacting?? I am niot making it up, he is deliberately watching me get changed on 2 clear occassions. I dont want to make a fuss and perhaps the issue is closed now, his reply was made out of embarrassment for being caught and that will be that!!

[jd_1984]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1263920.html

[jd_1984]

The link to original post above

[maggiebee]

Change gyms!

[Infomaniac]

It sounds to me as if you handled it perfectly properly. Let's hope that is the endof .

[pixie373]

Hopefully, now that you've confronted him, he'll be more careful. Wait and see, next time, i think.

[tonyav]

No you didn't over react imo, jd_1984.

[Baldric]

Would have done the same!

[bert_h]

I think the proprietors of the gym should be told about this, and that maybe it was a mistake to try to handle it yourself, instead of letting them do it for you.

[Bazile]

next time he will sit with his back to you , holding a hand mirror

[Octavius]

I think the first statement was enough.

The second one was unecessary (unless it happened again) and probably got him excited about naked mud wrestling with you, or playful towel whipping.

[Bazile]

At the end of the day though - there is no law stopping him looking at you - is there - so what you going to do if he continues ?

[B00]

"Please tell me if it is me that is over reacting?? "

Ok, it's you over reacting.

[stokemaveric]

he might have been looking at your tackle...your weight lifting tackle i mean...

[naomi24]

I also think the first statement was enough. He got the message. Just ignore him in future.

[jd_1984]

I do feel genuinely daft bringing this up! The anonymity on here means I dont mind speaking openly (I wouldnt tell the lads down the pub some gay is looking at me because of the maturity of answers I would get) But it DID bother me both times and I feel I had to say something, words can not represent properly just how intense he was staring at me, it was creepy and I feel I was right to say what i did

[Peter Pedant]

Actually I think that is OK

I trust you were thinking of world peace during all of this.

Seems straightforward and clear.


I was staring at a fella outside the newsagent and he said OK mate ?
and I said: o I was just looking at that man with sunburn and thinking he isnt going to sleep at all tonight.

You cant very well say I was looking at that matt Lucas look-alike that someone looks as tho they have poured red ink over him
now can you ?

[tonyav]

jd_1984, you didn't like it and you let him know, and quite rightly so imo.

[jd_1984]

Peter, whatever his motives for looking, it is how it was perceived so I had to say something..... I dont really care what his motives are, it was just bordering on creepy. In fact No, it was Creepy!!

[Peter Pedant]

No Bazile but there are various social forms you/one has to observe.
.
When I asked a fella in a gym changing rooms what had happened the previous week when his car keys were stolen -

people with me sprang forward in case he conceived I was chatting him up.


Well it wasnt his car keys, it was his employer's and it wasnt a car, it was a works van..... filled with stuff !

[Peter Pedant]

Yeah I was gonna suggest changing gyms or going at a different time


but admitting that you lift weights at 4 am because someone looks at you if you go earlier, is a bit mimsy innit ?