Question For Ladies

[Scarlett]

Would you be flattered if a man told you he really fancied you and would like to have some no-strings sex but has no intention of a relationship. If you fancied him, would you go for this arrangement? Would you be able to NOT fall for him, and want more from the relationship?!

[Scarlett]

2sp, that's interesting. So, what would you say you got out of the arrangement, aside from the obvious? Was it that you had felt unloved by your previous boyfriend and it was nice to have some male attention again? Or was it simply sex, scratching an itch? ie- were you driven by emotional reasons or purely physical ones?

[Sparkles62]

I would tell him where to go.......................and I wouldn't be polite.

[ummmm]

How well do you know him, Scarlett?

[2sp_]

My previous boyfriend had moved to Australia to work (this was planned before we got together). I was mad about him and broke my heart when he left.

Everyone needs affection. I got that from my friend, but without the emotional attachment and complications.

So, I would say, yes it was purely physical. Didn't hurt that he was quite a hottie and we were great friends too!

[maggiebee]

I would also tell him where to go! Maybe if it was Daniel Craig I might give him different directions!!

[Scarlett]

2sp- and was there any glimmer from you that you may get attached to him- if he had told you that he wanted more than just sex, and to make it into a relationship, would you have been okay with that? ie- could you have fallen for him if he had made the first move?

[2sp_]

Honestly, I don't think I ever would have wanted a relationship. I didn't want to get involved, but still missed the physical side of being in one.

I did care for the guy, but that was because he was my friend, not as a boyfriend.

If he'd made it clear he wanted more, I would have run a mile. I'm pretty sure he was on the same page as me though.

[bednobs]

perhaps you should faceboo hom and ask 2sp ;)

[bednobs]

*facebook him

[Scarlett]

2sp- so it was the physical side of a relationship you wanted, ie not just sex but affection? I wonder if there's anyone else who has been in this situation. Most seem to say "no way"!!

[2sp_]

I used the word affection, I was trying to politely say I just wanted nookie!

My heart was broken, but the rest of me was in perfect working order.

[2sp_]

bednobs, I think I'll let that sleeping dog lie!

Doubt he want to discuss it now either.

[murraymints]

No no no noooooo.!!!

[islasmum]

I'm quite surprised at how many negative answers there are!
IF I wasn't in a relationship, IF I found the man attractive in personality and looks I might think about it - I knew someone in the 80's/ 90's that I had a fairly similar relationship with, but I wouldn't now because of OH.
So was this "friends with benefits", or have I just got loose morals?

[2sp_]

Thank God you've shown up Islasmum!!

I was waiting to have my head shaved by the outraged masses!

I think we are too uptight about sex in this country. There is nothing wrong with casual sex, if everyone is safe and nobody gets hurt.

I wouldn't say either of us have loose morals.

[nannybooby]

no way, I'd feel insulted. No strings sex .....what a xancker

[MadMen]

Lol. No. It's hardly a compliment!

[Octavius]

So if a man suddenly tells you he fancies you and wants hanky panky, and for a Brucie bonus potential of a relationship, you would change your view? (assuming you fancied him and you were single).

I think there are some porky pies flying on this thread.

[MadMen]

I think any man that actually said the words "I would like some no strings sex with you" would be a bit of a Salad Bowl.

[islasmum]

If it's not hurting anyone, and you are able to separate sex from love, why not? It's not like you are making a living from it, like a prostitute, it just used to happen sometimes if we found ourselves together - he was free, I was free - I still like him, but wouldn't sleep with him now because I've got someone at home who loves me, and I love him. Also, it's quite nice to be fancied, and feel that you are an attractive person. (don't worry, 2sp, I'll cover your back!)