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still incredible
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Has something happened to you in the past that has been so painful and incredible to get over that now when you look back on it, you just cant believe it ever happened? im going through that now after 2 1/2 years. Sometimes, it just hits me when im doing the housework for example, like the other day, i just shook my head in disbelief and realised where i am now to where i was then and just couldnt believe it 'could' have happened, ie incredulous! I wonder when i will stop having these thoughts.
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Yes it sure has. My father died 13 years ago this coming Monday. He had a heart attack and died at my feet and for many years after I wondered if I could get past it. To be honest I never have. But it doesn't dominate my thoughts as much these days. When it happened I was already having a tough tome, I honestly thought it wiuld be the end of me. When I think about it I can't believe I got through it. Glad you got through whatever your painful experience whatever it was.
I really do hope time is a good healer, as I'm only 6months down the line from a break up. There's rarely a day that goes by that I don't get upset. While at work I manage really well to not think about things, only occassionally do I have to pop to the loo so I can compose myself before anyone has noticed my dip. I try very hard to push the thoughts out of my mind. However once I get home I have this overwhelming feeling to burst into tears, I feel like a bottle of pop that's been shuck up, it's worse still when my daughter's around, I have to keep slipping away to sort out my face or pretend the programme on tv is sad. I just wish I could stop crying. Mind you once I've had the cry I feel much better, it's just so inconvenient cos I then have a face like a smacked bottom. I'm sure It will get much easier.
Yes, two of the worst years of my life happened over twenty five years ago and sometimes it comes back to haunt me. It's like it happened to someone else because 'I couldn't possibly have coped with all that'. More recently I had to cope with my brother's horrible illness and passing. You'll never forget what happened and you might have bad days but you're here to tell the the tale...try and swap each bad thought for a good one.
Assimilation is part of the human condition.
People talk about 'getting past'; a trauma, but the truth is, that you don't get past it, you assimilate it. Events become experience, and our mind will refer back to them with steadily more objectivity as time passes. the raw emotion that colours an experience gradually fades, but this can take years, and is replaced by a more detached sense of analysis as the mind reflects on what it has learned.
My trama was a complete mental breakdown twenty-three years ago. I was hospitalised for three months, off work for a year, and on medication for life. I came very very close to death by suicide as my life disintigrated around me. I had to teach myself how to type again, and thought that my writing which means the world to me, was lost for ever, but with time and a great deal of mental strength (partly inherited, partly learned) I have come back to 'normal' but it is an experience i remember every single day, and always will.
People's experiences are always unique and varied, but the common thread is the assimilation, the weaving of experience into the fabric of one's being, which means the mind has used it to strengten and develop itself, so in ,ost, though not all cases, a similar experience will be less damaging because they mind knows it has, and will again, dealt with the circumstance before.
With regard to having your thoughts nextqueen, that depends on a number of variables - what your epxerience was, how you dealt with it, and your ability to absorb it and carry on, so you may have your thoughts for the rest of your life - as will I.
It is part of what makes us who we are, so try to embrace the positive aspects, you did survive, even though you thought you would not.
Not for ithing is Nietzsche's famous phrase so often quoted - it's because its truth resonates today as it did then - "What does not kill us makes us strong."
People talk about 'getting past'; a trauma, but the truth is, that you don't get past it, you assimilate it. Events become experience, and our mind will refer back to them with steadily more objectivity as time passes. the raw emotion that colours an experience gradually fades, but this can take years, and is replaced by a more detached sense of analysis as the mind reflects on what it has learned.
My trama was a complete mental breakdown twenty-three years ago. I was hospitalised for three months, off work for a year, and on medication for life. I came very very close to death by suicide as my life disintigrated around me. I had to teach myself how to type again, and thought that my writing which means the world to me, was lost for ever, but with time and a great deal of mental strength (partly inherited, partly learned) I have come back to 'normal' but it is an experience i remember every single day, and always will.
People's experiences are always unique and varied, but the common thread is the assimilation, the weaving of experience into the fabric of one's being, which means the mind has used it to strengten and develop itself, so in ,ost, though not all cases, a similar experience will be less damaging because they mind knows it has, and will again, dealt with the circumstance before.
With regard to having your thoughts nextqueen, that depends on a number of variables - what your epxerience was, how you dealt with it, and your ability to absorb it and carry on, so you may have your thoughts for the rest of your life - as will I.
It is part of what makes us who we are, so try to embrace the positive aspects, you did survive, even though you thought you would not.
Not for ithing is Nietzsche's famous phrase so often quoted - it's because its truth resonates today as it did then - "What does not kill us makes us strong."
Incredible? I cannot live with this anymore.
I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused as a child. I gave evidence against my abuser when he (i would hate to be a man) was found abusing others. I had no support or help before or after making my statement so I was totally retraumatised. I went for help for this after living as a recluse and frightened all the time in 2005.
June that year, my lovely sister in law died from cancer. On her way across London to the funeral, my sister was in a tube train that got blown up, she was unhurt but it affected her badly.
Oh Sugar, well, since then my mother died, my father died, my daughter became an alcoholic, another sister in law died from cancer, my 19 month old grandson died in a terrible accident, my father in law died, my mother in law got Alzheimers, my husband walked out on me, I lost my much loved home, marriage, lifestyle. My family dont talk to me cause they cant deal with the abuse I suffered. Two of my grandchildren (alckies) lost their other granny and now they live far from me and I never see them.... Life is Sugar, then you die.
I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused as a child. I gave evidence against my abuser when he (i would hate to be a man) was found abusing others. I had no support or help before or after making my statement so I was totally retraumatised. I went for help for this after living as a recluse and frightened all the time in 2005.
June that year, my lovely sister in law died from cancer. On her way across London to the funeral, my sister was in a tube train that got blown up, she was unhurt but it affected her badly.
Oh Sugar, well, since then my mother died, my father died, my daughter became an alcoholic, another sister in law died from cancer, my 19 month old grandson died in a terrible accident, my father in law died, my mother in law got Alzheimers, my husband walked out on me, I lost my much loved home, marriage, lifestyle. My family dont talk to me cause they cant deal with the abuse I suffered. Two of my grandchildren (alckies) lost their other granny and now they live far from me and I never see them.... Life is Sugar, then you die.
