Guys is this an excuse?

[chizzy22]

He says he's breaking up with me 'because he wants to spend more time with his mates' Has he just gone off me? We've been together a year and I thought we were really happy... which is why I'm so shell-shocked. He's 40 by the way. Any clues would be greatly appreciated. I'm gutted!

[bondgirl007]

yer defo think its an excuse sorri, find someone that wanst to be with you and not just his mates !!

[Postdog]

Could be true.

[emmie]

He's 40 and still using that old excuse, you are well shot i'm afraid. Perhaps it seems harsh but he hasn't grown up yet, and probably never will.

[chelle7272]

To be honest, it does sound like an excuse. It may be true but I wouldn't consider it a good enough reason personally, especially at his age. Mid life crisis perhaps?

[Athley]

Any 40 year old who still values his 'mates' over a partner/wife/girlfriend is a pretty sorry excuse for a man in my opinion. I'd tell him to make sure the door doesn't hit him in the arse on the way out !!!

[EvianBaby]

Could be true. When my boyfriend ended our relationship he didn't give me that excuse but thats what he's done. Getting lashed with his mates most of the time. That's clearly what he really wanted to do.

[grasscarp]

He may or may not want to spend more time with his mates. Ultimately he has said he wants to break up with you, so it is time to seek the company of new and old friends while you get over it. Happens to the best of us unfortunately, but in time you usually look back and realise he wasnt the one. I met up with someone who dumped me many moons ago. Big mistake as a handsome young man is now a puffy, boring old man!

[emu777]

In his eyes it's not an excuse cos when commitment phobes find themselves in a happy strong relationship they want to run, shirk responsibility and what better way than 'to spend more time with mates'. Let him go...he might come back if he sees sense but at 40 it seems being in a committed relationship is not a priority for him and maybe it never will...

[Pinkypie]

He's seems the type unfortunately that just can't settle down and would prefer to remain single with him mates! He'll be full of regret at some point of his life, while you will no doubt be happy in a relationship worth having!

Leave him go, his loss!

[chizzy22]

Thank you all so very much for your answers!
I'm really touched... in fact I think I'm almost smiling!
Great advice and very much appreciated x

[bradcashman38]

I don't think this is an excuse. I guess he has gone gay or may be just wants to get rid of you "politely". In both situations, he is doing very bad to you. The conclusion is you have no space in his life. Just try to look for some alternate on emergency basis.

[jno]

maybe, maybe not - sometimes men who say this mean it; sometimes they've found someone else. It doesn't matter - either way, you've got rid of a commitmentphobe. Who needs a 40-year-old who acts like an 18-year-old? I can well imagine you're gutted, but it seems to me you've had a lucky escape.

[Old_Geezer]

So little to go on. It can be perfectly true, and yet missing lots of other things. Yes he may well want to spend more time with his mates, but he chooses to find more time to spednd with them by spending less time with you. What does that tell you?

I think you just need to accept that he isn't willing to give your relationship the attention it needs, so you need to go find someone who will. Assuming you are determined to be part of a couple.

[JonnyBoy12]

Yes, I am with athley on this one. That is a very poor excuse and he probably does not deserve you, anyway.

[Eddie-R]

It sounds like an excuse, at 40 I wouldn't imagine him wanting to spend more time with his mates, unless they're teenagers/twenties. Surely most of his mates are settled down. You deserve someone better.

[joko]

its probably totally true...but really both are true because it amounts to the same thing...he has still gone off you and basically has realised hed rather be with them than you...

[welshlibranr]

he's maybe one of those guys that can't cope with commitment, or maybe he has someone else!......think the second guess is more likely!........time to forget about him!..........he's not for you!.........

[Booldawg]

as I read it I thought 'must be a teenager' was quite surprised to see the age tbh. He doesnt sound mature enough to be in an adult relationship. At his age he shouldnt need to be spending that much time 'with friends'. Sounds like you're best off without him.