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chinadog | 13:17 Sun 19th Jun 2011 | Body & Soul
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Its been 9 days since my hubby left to live a single life. Is it normal to cry as much as I am? I have my "Dry" periods but then the tears come again. I just keep thinking "29 years of marriage finished just like that". TIA


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9 days is no time at all. I'm guessing what your feeling is similar to grief. It could take you months...or even longer, to come to terms with it x
its perfectly normal, i hope you have friends and family around you for support,
it is normal,i cried nearly every day for 2 years,i still think of him often although we both remarried,we have remained friends,he will always be in my heart
Give it time, CD, your emotions will sort in their own time. Could even run a whole range of emotions first, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, just need to hang on in there.
was it just out of the blue or were you expecting something like this?
don't even think about it, chinadog - crying is very cathartic, you keep crying, it's very good for you.
Hi Chinadog Of course it is, I think it would be more strange if u werent crying, in the circumstances. I am sure he is also going through all sorts of emotions, as someone else said it will take time and in the meantime be gentle on yourself and try and pamper yourself a bit, do the things u didnt normally do. I really empathise with you, as I have also been married 29 years and I know it must feel like a real wrench for him now not to be there, but its better that you both have this space between u for a while and then see what happens, it will certainly give him thinking time. Keep strong, and a big hug xx
I can't really add anymore, just to say you need to cry as much or as little as feels right for you.

Oh and I'm sending you a great big hug

Rachel x
agreed, 9 days is not long at must be still very raw...there are no rules...cry as long as you need to

crying is a bodily mechanism designed to release emotion, tension and pain, its natural and necessary and exists for a very good reason, so use it as much as you need to...never try to stifle it - just let it all out whenever you need - it will help (unless maybe circumstances would make it awkward like buying a pint of milk etc)

but dont apolgise or feel embarrassed...people will know what your going through and will understand
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Hi evey, I cant thank you all enough for your replies,its really helped to know Im not going GAGA. I had a feeling something was'nt right as he stopped taking me out for meals etc but I put it down to his depression He told me last week he's not taking his anti depressants and feels much better for it which suprised me as he's also under a psyciatrist but cancelled his appt last week. He has'nt even texted or phoned to ask how our son is coping. Bye for now. china. x
Big hugs chinadog. It takes as long as it takes to get over it. 29 years is a heck of a time. Xxxx
He`ll find life is a drag before long and come crawling back.
Oh china, 9 days is nothing, takes time to get over such a thing!................more than 9 days I'm sure! sad for you, but you'll get there!...........hope you feel better soon............x
Its good to cry, china -its better than bottling it all up - I have lots of boxes of Kleenex, if you ever need any, as I cry a lot aswell, for a different reason.

I wish you and your son better times ahead. Den xx
One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. Nobody knows what's going on with you. How could anybody realise what's happening? Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. But for you, there's no difference in the days. They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it's all gone."

Jem - (Hi Den)
china - it's all very raw and very new, and you know too that your hubby isn't well. This happened to a friend of mine is very similar circumstances - totally out of the blue. It's not your fault, you need to mourn the relationship, it's perfectly natural - and come on here when you feel like it, you know that we are here for you if you need us ♥
Question Author
Thank Boxtops and all. I stayed under the shower last night and fellt I washed 9 days of tears away..I cant thank you all anough for your support. china x
It took me 4 months and £30.000 worth of retail retail therapy to get over the worst part.

We do find happiness again and this time I am so much happier!! :-)
Question Author
Ratter15, I have'nt got that amount of money lol but with the support of my son,daughter,son in law and 2 great ladyfriends plus the support from my new friends on here Im trying hard to look forward. china x
The money helped, it was a great distraction, but at the end of the day its emotional support that really is the key.

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