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Smart Poetry ?

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Canary42 | 18:30 Mon 30th Sep 2019 | ChatterBank
7 Answers
I have today received the following e-mail from my energy supplier, extolling the virtues of Smart Meters, trying to persuade me to get one fitted. It made me laugh (and McGonagall no doubt would be envious).

[i]

We’re installing smart meters in your area and you can book an installation now.

Smart meters are so good, we’ve written a poem about them:

Smart meters are here -
We’ve mentioned it before.
They replace your old gas and electricity meters
But they tell you so much more.

Get more accurate energy bills
From automatic readings -
It’s an easy way to check
On your recent proceedings.

Knowing more about your usage,
Can really help you save.
Spot your energy-efficient appliances
And the ones that misbehave.

Our meters are second generation,
So if you switch they’ll stay smart.
Our installing engineers are local -
Are you ready to make a start?

Hit the button below
To book your installation.
Together we’ll make the grid greener -
And be a slightly smarter nation.
[i]
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Super, nice, nothing could be neater I often dream at night, about my own smart meter But as your name is British Gas You can shove it back in the box.
19:58 Mon 30th Sep 2019
Fair enough I suppose, quite different but still won't get me switching to a smart meter.

Not sure the 'poem' stands any comparison to the legendary McGonagall though.
Hope they didn’t waste any money on employing an actual poet to write that.
This one is better (or should that be worse?)

Beautiful silvery Tay,
With your landscapes, so lovely and gay,
Along each side of your waters, to Perth all the way;
No other river in the world has got scenery more fine,
Only I am told the beautiful Rhine,
Near to Wormit Bay, it seems very fine,
Where the Railway Bridge is towering above its waters sublime,
And the beautiful ship Mars,
With her Juvenile Tare,
Both lively and gay,
Does carelessly lie By night and by day,
In the beautiful Bay
Of the silvery Tay.
Beautiful, beautiful silvery Tay,
Thy scenery is enchanting on a fine summer day,
Near by Balnerino it is beautiful to behold,
When the trees are in full bloom and the cornfields seems like gold -
And nature's face seems gay,
And the lambkins they do play,
And the humming bee is on the wing,
It is enough to make one sing,
While they carelessly do stray,
Along the beautiful banks of the silvery Tay,
Beautiful silvery Tay,
Rolling smoothly on your way,
Near by Newport, as clear as the day,
Thy scenery around is charming I'll be bound...
And would make the heart of any one feel light and gay on a fine summer day,
To view the beautiful scenery along the banks of the silvery Tay.

by William Topaz McGonagall
Interestingly (or not) I live on the banks of the silvery Tay. Two weeks ago I went to see a play at our local Rep called The Tay Bridge Disaster which recounted the events of that fateful night. In early November I am going back to the Rep to see a show called William McGonagall talks.
Send help! I'm trapped

in this desolate AB world

Disdain and rejection

met my every chance at escape

Send help! Please I'm stuck

I'm afraid I might die here

It won't be long

The end is near

Oh wait.

Canary's new meter is here.
Super, nice, nothing could be neater
I often dream at night, about my own smart meter
But as your name is British Gas
You can shove it back in the box.

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