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Patsy33

1481 to 1500 of 1933

First Previous 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 Next Last

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Patsy33
A friend who is a contortionist, is always moaning about the way she looks. I told her to get over herself!
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Patsy33
The shovel. What a groundbreaking tool that is....
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Patsy33
https://g.co/kgs/bZNFp8...
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Patsy33
Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
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Patsy33
https://youtu.be/c_Bh-G9whv4...
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Patsy33
If you're worried about taking Statins, cholesterol lowering yogurt drinks can work just as well according to Richard Madely on The Wright Stuff this morning. He said his was always around 5.6 and...
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Patsy33
Me ?? Behave ?? Seriously !! As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White...
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Patsy33
When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject, these days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow.:)
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Patsy33
2 boys have been stopped by police for riding a vacuum cleaner down a steep hill a police spokesman said "those boys are Dyson with death":)...
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Patsy33
I used to dread walking under Horse Chestnut trees in the autumn . But with some therapy I've managed to Conker it.:)...
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Patsy33
A Polish immigrant goes to Specsavers for an eye test. The optician shows him a board with the letters CZWIXNOSTACZ on it and says, "Can you read that?" "Read it," says the Pole, "I frocking know the...
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Patsy33
A brummie goes for a job interview wearing a polyester shirt, bright flares and big boots. The interviewer says: "All you need now is a kipper tie." The brummie replies: "That would be luvloy, two...
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Patsy33
My friend keeps saying, "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well..:)...
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Patsy33
I drank so much wine last night, when I went back across the dance floor to get another drink, I won the Dance competition!
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Patsy33
Me and my neighbour had a race to see who could put the washing out on the line the quickest. It was level pegging......
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Patsy33
Just been doing the shopping with my wife in Tescos. Out of the blue she called me a lazy barstard..... Well! I nearly fell out the trolly!...
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Patsy33
https://g.co/kgs/Oh0eKU...
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Patsy33
You know a man's a bad dancer when he keeps stepping on Dolly Parton's feet.......
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Patsy33
A chap goes into shop and asked if a one armed sailor worked there. A man replied, "It's not me, I'm a Wholesaler"..........
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Patsy33
I said to my doctor, "The older I get the more gossip I spread" He replied, "It's Rumourtism"...........

1481 to 1500 of 1933

First Previous 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 Next Last